Your marriage, or relationship, may look perfect from the outside, but what happens when it’s not so perfect on the inside.
You’ll almost certainly know that feeling, that inner cry for help, when you need someone to talk to about your marriage, or just a tough relationship problem… but you’re not sure who to turn to…
It can be really awkward talking about it with your friends and family.
After all, word travels fast, and you don’t really need everyone in your circle of friends and family to know you’re not ‘getting any’, or that you and your wife are fighting constantly and are on the verge of breaking up. On top of that, these people are biased – they have a stake in the game so to speak. They may feel that they need to take sides, or may even have their own reasons for keeping you together – or for helping you to break up! They are too close to the action to give you objective advice.
So what can you do? Is there a better option?
Why not see how someone else in the very same situation is dealing with the issue… and better yet, why not see what a bunch of objective third parties have to say about it. People who don’t have personal biases toward your situation, because they don’t even know you or your wife… They’re just offering up ideas and suggestions for remedying the problem and coming to a happy resolution.
I’m sure you see how that can be helpful.
A great open discussion forum site for marriage and relationship problems is the "Talk About Marriage" forums.
These forums are a surprisingly supportive community and an open, accepting atmosphere.
They actually have some pretty tough posting rules to make sure everyone actually stays positive and helpful. Their number 1 rule is to treat everyone with dignity and respect; anything less will get your account banned. As ground rules go, that’s definitely good place to start. The last thing you want is some guy being a real jerk when you’re sharing your deep personal relationship problems.
Some of the members even use the forums as a virtual journal, as in this thread started by a man trying to save his marriage. And here’s another in depth discussion about a man seeking help because his wife is waning to leave him. Notice the nuances of his cry for help, but also the helpful tips and advice from the forum community.
One thing we always like to see is motivated people helping others. As a perfect example, these forums were started by Chris Hartwell, who also runs the Family & Marriage Counseling Directory, a nationwide directory for finding therapists and counselors in your area. His intention was for people to have an open, welcoming forum where they could discuss their marriage or relationship problems in a friendly environment, while also staying completely anonymous if they choose.
So check out the Marriage and Relationship forums and see what you think.
More likely than not, someone’s already had a similar issue to the one you’re having, and you can gain some insights into how they handled it. Either way, look around… And if you feel comfortable, consider making an anonymous account and asking the "Talk About Marriage" community what they would do in your situation.