Breaking up after a long-term relationship can be devastating. If you have been with somebody for two years or more, it’s easy to... continue reading
Breaking up after a long-term relationship can be devastating. If you have been with somebody for two years or more, it’s easy to associate her with your self-image. When you break up it’s hard to imagine going forth and finding somebody else. You might feel lost and shattered by the break up, but there are things that you can do to get back some semblance of your life again. Over time, the hurt will dwindle and it’s important to realize that you will find somebody else who can make you happy again. Here are a few suggestions to get your mind off of the break up and put you back on track.
Clean Your House
Cleaning your house can be one of the best ways to get over a break up. Take everything that the person gave you and put it in a closet. Don’t throw it away because you might need it some day. Pictures and other gifts that your ex-girlfriend gave you can bring back memories and make you feel even worse. Put them out of sight so that you aren’t thinking about the break up every time that you walk into your living room. You might feel like you’re betraying her for some reason by removing pictures or placing other things she gave you in a closet, but this will pass.
Update Your Facebook
Remove here from your Facebook account and set the “In A Relationship” setting to “Single.” You can’t do this fast enough after a break up has occurred. One of the reasons that you must do this immediately is because you could still get updates from her account every time that you log in. This can be a quick stab to the eye with a quick click of the mouse. Removing her Facebook doesn’t have to be malicious, but it’s better to do it to her first than have her do it to you.
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Sitting around the house and wallowing in your sorrows is only going to make you feel worse. Get out of the house and hang around with friends. Going through a break up alone will extend the healing process. Get out of the house and go to a friend’s house or spend time with your family. Friends and family will be considerate of what you’re going through. They can give you a shoulder to cry on and perspective on why the break up happened.
One of the biggest problems with a break up is that over time we can idealize the relationship. We idealize the good parts and tend to forget why the relationship failed in the first place. Instead of thinking about trips that you took together or holidays, think about all of the problems that you had. This will help you realize that she wasn’t right for you. Look forward to a future where you won’t have all of the problems that you did with her and you will gain a little perspective on why you broke up.
Take Up A Hobby
A great way to get over a break up is to put all of the energy that you had in your previous relationship into a hobby. Taking up a sport or focusing on your work is a good way to have goals. When you implement goals into your life, you will be able to spend more time on obtaining them. Team sports can work really well because they get you out of the house and around other people.
Set A Timeline
Set up a timeline for when you want to go on another date. We all need a cooling period after a break up, but you also need to get back into the saddle when you feel comfortable. Setting up a timeline will allow you to grieve for the previous relationship, but also puts you on track to start seeing other people. If your relationship was over two years, you could need up to 5 months to really be over it. If you reach the end of your timeline and you’re still not ready to start seeing somebody, give yourself more time. This is not a setback; it’s simply an extension.
Don’t Do A Comparison
Don’t compare new girls in your life to your ex-girlfriend. You broke up with your ex so she wasn’t good enough for you. There were problems with that relationship and it’s over now. Just because your ex hurt you doesn’t mean that another girl will. Have a fresh perspective on new girls and give them the trust and respect that they deserve. Don’t let your guard down completely, but you don’t want to have somebody paying for the mistakes that an ex made.