Marriage is a big decision, one that involves lots of thought and preparation. Even if you love someone a great deal, you may not be ready to get married – and many couples choose to simply stay in a long term, committed relationship without ever taking that “next step” to seal the deal. If you decide that you don’t ever want to get married, your family and friends may be shocked or upset. Here’s how to let your family know that marriage isn’t for you.
Question: Hi Dan and Jennifer, please help me. I am already 18 now and I’m afraid that my parents will be bringing up the “marriage issue” in a couple years. I don’t want to get married, not EVER!!! How do I avoid coming across this conversation in my life?
Dealing With The Issue Beforehand
Don’t wait to let the people that are important to you in your life know that you don’t ever plan to get married. Waiting until you’re in a long term relationship with someone that they would expect you to take the next step with to let them know that marriage isn’t something you want in your life may make things awkward when you visit your family with your partner in tow. Instead, let them know as soon as you decide that getting married isn’t your cup of tea. This may be when you’re young or even after you’ve finished school and have moved on into a career, but either way, it’s important to let your family know that a wedding isn’t in your future as soon as you decide that it isn’t.
Be Honest With Your Parents
You may be worried that your parents or your family are going to be extremely upset with you or angry that you don’t want to ever be a part of a marriage. This may lead you to believe that if you simply don’t tell them about it that you’re in the clear. This couldn’t be further from the truth! Your family loves you no matter what, so just be honest with them about what you want for your life and where you see your life going in the future. Let them know that you’re totally open to falling in love and being in a committed, long term relationship, but having a “dream wedding” isn’t one of your dreams.
Reserve The Right To Change Your Mind
You absolutely have the right to change your mind at any point during your lifetime. If you decide that you don’t want to get married now, but meet the person you want to live the rest of your life with and really want to wed them, it’s totally okay to change your mind and start planning the nuptials. If you decide later on that you do want to get married, you don’t have to not get married just because you said you didn’t want to earlier in your life. When talking to your family about your feelings towards marriage, let them know that you don’t ever see yourself having a wedding at this point, but you have the right to change your mind in the future if you meet someone that you really adore and want to get hitched.
It’s Probably Not Going To Be As Bad As You Think
If you’re young now, you may think that you’ll never want to get married and marriage is for saps. You’re probably eager to announce that you’ll never be caught dead in a tux or wedding dress and couples who get married just end up getting a divorce later anyways. The truth is, the idea of marriage probably isn’t as bad as you think it is. There are a lot of stereotypes when it comes to getting married and it’s easy to have misconceptions about what being in a marriage is really like. It’s nothing at all like you see on television or the movies and being married is a wonderful and satisfying part of many people’s lives. As you get older, you may discover that the idea of marriage wasn’t as bad as you thought it was. This is especially true if you meet someone that you really do want to spend the rest of your life with. If you decide now that you don’t want to get married, that’s your prerogative. If you live your life never being part of a marriage, that’s also your prerogative. If you decide later on that you do want to get married, that too, is your prerogative. Remember that the kind of life you live is totally up to you!