Am I Cheating? I Can’t Stop Fantasizing About Other Men!

Am I cheating? I’ve been married for five years. I love my husband. He’s the only one for me. I’d never cheat, but lately I can’t stop fantasizing about sleeping with other men. How do I make it stop?

What She Said

I say relax and enjoy your dreams! Sounds like you’re in the throes of some healthy creative visualization. Let your head hit the pillow, close your eyes and enjoy the ride. (Pun intended.)

Fantasies Are Normal

There is no harm in fantasizing, even if you’re happy with your hubby. Getting turned on by something in your imagination doesn’t mean there’s anything awry with your attraction level towards your partner. I’m sure your husband is equally as happy with you; however that doesn’t mean he won’t sneak a peek at a hot woman with a great rack. Men are generally more in tune with visual cues for sex while woman tend to be in synch with their emotions. It sounds like your sex dreams might be a nice blend of both. You’re allowed to daydream about whoever you want, be it Brad Pitt or the cute checker at the supermarket.

Transferring Your Fantasies To Your Husband

I say you’re in safe territory, as long as you keep your dreams relegated to bedtime and don’t start any real life extramarital affairs. In fact, have fun with these cues your brain is sending you. Enjoy the fantasies and then act out what you experienced in dreamland the night before in real time with your husband. Odds are he won’t mind the experiment one bit!

What He Said

Wait, you’re banging the person you’re going to be banging for all eternity, and you’re fantasizing about banging other people? Wow. I’d better alert the media. In other news, water is wet!

Is Monogamy Natural?

Here’s the deal: a committed monogamous relationship can be the most rewarding experience you’ll ever have. It’s also 100% unnatural. We’re literally not designed to be monogamous. That doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Just that it’s not natural. You can get upset about that or you can simply deal with it and move on.

This means you’re not only going to get turned on by other people, but you both NEED to get turned on by other people in order for your relationship to survive.

It’s Normal To Get Sick Of Your Partner Sexually

I don’t care how much you love chocolate ice cream, if you eat it three times a day you’re getting sick of it at some point. So you might need to flirt with some vanilla, or show someone your rocky road. Everyone needs a little Neapolitan every once in a while, I don’t care who you are.

Sure, you could feel bad about it, but what good would that do? I personally prescribe regular doses of strip clubs (for him and for her – they have those. That’s what Vegas is for), erotica and whatever else it takes to get your engines going. Other people are probably going to be the fuel that runs your collective car, at least occasionally. Just enjoy it and don’t be so Republican about it.

Then again, some of the biggest freaks on the planet are Republican, so maybe you should be Republican about it. Just don’t be a repressed Republican.


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