Married Life: Dreaming About Cheating Vs. Actually Cheating

Our dreams don’t always make sense, but if you’re dreaming about cheating on your current partner, it can be downright scary. It can be even more frightening if you’ve never thought about cheating on them during your waking hours and would never betray your partner like that. So what exactly do cheating dreams mean and should you tell your partner about them?

I have been dating the most beautiful girl for the past 3 years and I love her with all my heart and would never even consider cheating on her. But lately I have been having a lot of dreams of me having an affair on her with other girls I use to know. I wake up and I feel ashamed that I’m having dreams of hurting her and being with another woman. Any reasons why this might be happening?

–YouTube Viewer

When Your Brain Brings Up Old Memories

If you’re dreaming about cheating on your current partner but in real life would never, ever do something like that, you may feel like your sleeping brain is betraying you. Or you may feel like you secretly or subconsciously want to be with women other than your current partner, or else why would you be dreaming about them? The truth is, our bodies and our brains tend to bring up old memories when we are in similar situations and are experiencing similar emotions. What that means is that those loving relationship feelings you’re experiencing with your current partner were very similar to the emotions you experienced with your previous partners, so your sleeping brain is remembering those emotions in all the different manifestations that you experienced the emotions in. Dreams of cheating on your partner doesn’t mean you subconciously want to be with other people, nor does it mean that you will cheat on them sometime in the future with an old girlfriend, so relax a little!

Letting Your Partner Know About Your Dreams

Although your dreams of cheating on your girlfriend are harmless, the idea of telling her about your dreams can be downright terrifying. Does hiding your dreams make you a bad person? Not really, because you don’t always share all of your dreams with her. But telling her about your dreams – and why they are freaking you out – can help you and your partner better understand each other and recognize the love you have for each other. Let your partner know that you’re having dreams about cheating on her, but that you are also waking up frightened and ashamed. Let her know that you’re not exactly sure why you’re having these dreams of infidelity, but in your heart you deeply and truly love her and that you’ve never thought of cheating on her or being with someone else while you’ve been with her. Laying your feelings out on the line like that is definitely nerve wracking, but if you are completely honest with your partner, you have nothing to worry about. Your girlfriend will understand that you have no control over your dreams and that you do love her and want to be with her.

The Dreams Will Go Away Eventually

Even if you’re dreaming about cheating on your partner every night, take a deep breath and relax. You won’t dream about cheating on your partner every night for the rest of your life, so you can rest assured that the dreams will eventually go away. Talking to your partner about your dreams and realizing that the dreams don’t mean anything serious will do wonders getting your brain to relax and start focusing on something else at night. Even though you can’t help what you dream at night, laying down while worrying about whether you’re going to dream of cheating or not will definitely make it worse. Read a good book or watch your favorite televsion show or movie (that doesn’t have an affair in the plot) before going to bed to try to get your mind off of worrying about what your next dream will be. It may take a little while, but you and your partner will move through this trying time and come out on the other end with a much stronger relationship for it. Eventually, you may end up thanking your crazy cheating dreams if you are presented with the temptation to cheat in the future. You’ll remember how horrible it felt to wake up and felt like you cheated on your partner and you definitely won’t want to go through it for real!


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