Big Beautiful Women Are Sexy Too!

I am beautiful no matter what they say…

Words can’t bring me down–Christina Aguilera

My six-year old recently watched the movie/musical “Hairspray” and danced around the room to all the great 60’s styled tunes. Her favorite character: Tracy Turnblad! Who would have thought?

After being introduced to Barbie and Bratz dolls, who knew my daughter would think of Ms. Turnblad in the same way as her more shapely, thinner heroines?

But this is very good! Because for a culture obsessed in its need for thinner waif looking counterparts, Big Beautiful Women (BBW’s) are making it clear to the rest of the world they will neither be ignored nor marginalized.

The ideal

The fashion and entertainment culture for years have made it clear the only way people are attractive in the world is with the thin, athletic look. All you have to do is look at the entertainment business to see which look gets top billing. Look also at your magazines, billboards, and promotions in stores.

You’ve got to be thin, athletic, and not a speck of fat or flab on your body. No room for big boned girls because they don’t fit what beautiful or sexy looks like in our culture.

I remember growing up and into my teens and 20s viewing how BBW’s were treated in the public: disdain, repulsion, and degradation. There was no room at the inn for big girls because men and women were bombarded with “the standard” of beauty. But beauty had a cost too; if you wanted “the look” you will have to either starve yourself or purge your food from your body.

The ideal isn’t ideal

Too many BBW’s were left with the choice of starving, purging or exercising the weight off or be marginalized into a stereotype left on the outside looking in. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like (and sadly, is like in some cases today) where the pressure to be “beautiful” was great.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the clothing rack one day. Big Beautiful Women had enough!

They determined they were happy with who they were, how they looked, and would not take the forced determination of the fashion world—or society in general—telling them they couldn’t be sexy and beautiful just like the thinner girls. It would be up to these beautiful women to make a stand for themselves and tell their world they are beautiful in their own special way.

The new ideal

First came Emme, the most popular model to speak for a generation of BBW with clothing suited for them. Then, slowly, the fashion world took notice and realize the standard they put on them was too high a cost to a woman’s sanity. Along the way myths about BBW’s sexuality and vivaciousness shattered in a million pieces.

For me, I can attest some of the sexiest, beautiful, and charming women I’ve met and made love to are in this category. Why? Because I saw the beauty inside them and how they challenged my belief about what is a sexy image.

Plus,God said we are “fearfully and wonderfully made”. The meaning “fearfully” in the passage is not the terror kind of fear, but a reverence (a nod) to a creator for making every shape and size his own. Just like we awe at the statue of David or glance at the Mona Lisa or marvel at the Pyramids, we marvel how God can create a unique person like the BBW’s of the world.

Why we need to change the ideal

Now there are many who have made BBW the fodder of late night jokes or the bane of the Al Bundy’s of the world. They made songs to try and keep BBW’s in their place telling the world they are not their “type” (Remember the song “I ain’t gonna bump no more with no big fat woman?”).

BBW’s are no joke and shouldn’t be treated as invisible women. Men should look at all women—every shape and size—with the same love and respect we in turn should expect from others. Heck, we shouldn’t be selective at all at whom we open the door to anyway. (See Luke 6:31-33)

One night we went to a lounge we frequent from time to time with friends of ours we know for a monthly get together. That night, the room was crowded with BBW’s and their dates for their annual party/dance night. Music coursed the room as these beautiful women of all sizes got up to shake their groove thing dancing with partners and husbands without a care.

They dressed sexy, flirted constantly with me (and other guys and gals), and didn’t give a care who saw them. They didn’t need to compete with the thin ladies out there, they were (are) happy with where they are at and God love them for being that way.

I’m sure Tracy Turnblad would be proud.


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