Q&A: How To Say I Love You

Telling someone you love them for the first time – especially if they haven’t already said it – can be nerve wracking. In new relationships, it can be difficult to tell if you’re really in love with this person or if you just think you are because you’re infatuated with them. How can you say I love you?

Question: I have a very simple question and I wasn’t sure if you had already made a video about it. How do you tell someone you love them if you’ve never said it seriously before? I’m in my first relationship (I’m 19) and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for four months and I have never felt this way before. I do think I love him but I don’t know how to tell him. Do I love him or do I just think I do?

–YouTube Viewer

Sharing Your Feelings

If you have special feelings for your partner – whether it’s love or something else – it can be a relief to share your feelings with your partner out loud. It’s also nice to know that someone else has special feelings for you, even if you haven’t spoken about your feelings first. It can be scary to put your feelings out in the open like that though, without assurance that your partner feels the same way. But take the chance. You’re only letting your partner know how you feel. Don’t make a big production out of it. It’s as simple as that.

Does He Have To Say It Back?

Part of the awkwardness of saying I love you to someone is when they feel the pressure to say it back when they haven’t even explored their feelings about you yet. Let them know that just because you’ve shared your feelings with them, it doesn’t mean they have to say “I love you” back or share their feelings at all. Let them know you’re just putting it out there in the open. Most guys hear a woman say “I love you” and think that now they have to be in a committed relationship and they’re chained down. Let him know that’s not the case. You’re not definining the relationship or discussing “where you stand.” You’re just letting him know you have special feelings for him.

Show Him You Love Him

One of the best ways to let your partner know that you love them is to show them in addition to telling them. Or you can show them instead of telling them, if you’re really nervous that telling him that you love him out loud will make things too awkward. But remember that actions do speak louder than words in most cases, so you can really make a statement if you just do little things that let him know you care. Pick up his favorite snack at the store next time you’re shopping or remember what he says about something he’s very passionate about, even if it completely disinterests you. Make an effort to let him know you’re really into him with your actions and he’ll definitely get it.


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