This is most certainly a rant rather than a blog, but I hope you’ll allow me this indulgence, and excuse my use of strong language. This is an issue that many single mothers, including me, can related to, and I think it’s important to address.
You may have heard the news about Scott Roeder, who was recently found guilty of first-degree, premeditated murder. He admits to having shot Dr. George Tiller, and it only took the jury just over half an hour to reach a guilty verdict.
From the Associated Press: Scott Roeder had confessed publicly before the trial and admitted again on the witness stand that he shot Tiller in the head in the foyer of the Wichita church where the doctor was serving as an usher. He testified he felt the lives of unborn children were in “immediate danger” because of Tiller.
I cannot imagine the pain and emotional outrage the Tiller family must be going through right now. This kind of senseless loss is unfathomable, and as I think about this situation, I’m noticing my own prejudices coming to the surface. Putting emotions aside for the moment, I’m curious as to why we direct our anger toward the symptom rather than the illness.
How about instead of shooting the messenger, let’s analyze the message. If more women stopped using their insecurities and then their bodies to entice men into relationships, and if more men would take responsibility for their actions and, well, man up, perhaps the abortion rate wouldn’t be as high as it is. Sex is is not about playing around – it’s a responsibility, and becoming a parent is a possible outcome that needs to be taken very seriously. If we get in line with our inner wisdom, we would easily see that the equation is simple: if you want the enjoyment of sex, you have to accept the potential consequences, as well. Perhaps if we dealt with the buried issues that cause us to use sex as a bargaining chip, there would be less inclination to use abortion as birth control.
Biologically, the point of sex is reproduction, but if you look around at the number of kids with absent dads, it’s easy to see that people don’t really take their responsibilities seriously.
So what if instead of Pro-Life, America went Pro-DAD? Then the news might read more like this:
Across the country, men are suddenly stepping up to the plate, as the responsibilities of having sex finally become clear to them. They have finally begun to comprehend that their place as fathers is to personally show their children how to survive and get along in the world, while the mother takes on her role in teaching the children to love themselves. In this way, parents are now able to provide a situation in which they raise their children as a team, and create a dynamic of mutual respect where the child feel safe and secure. Without this partnership, a single mother struggles to meet all the needs of the child, both physically and emotionally. Men and women everywhere are coming to the conclusion that each of us has a responsibility to be honest about our actions. As a result, the abortion rate has dropped dramatically.