If you’re having trust issues in your relationship, you’re not alone. The human race is jealous by nature, but mostly because we’re afraid of losing what we love.
If your relationship is suffering from trust issues, here are a few pointers on how to deal with it, and how to understand it.
Dear Dan and Jennifer,
My girlfriend says she can’t trust me, because I’m a guy! Has she been so burned by past relationships that she just can’t trust anyone anymore? What do I do? I really like her!
Many people come into relationships with emotional baggage from other relationships. As much as bringing old baggage into a current relationship can sabotage it, some people just can’t help it. If you’ve been in a relationship before where you couldn’t trust someone, be it your father, mother, boyfriend or wife, it makes it extremely difficult to trust someone again.
You can begin to understand trust issues in your relationship if you know the cause. Talk to your partner about what they went through and encourage them to open up to you so you can have a clearer understanding of why your partner has trust issues.
Being Honest And Forthcoming
Although it will take some perseverance and patience on your part, one of the best ways to deal with trust issues is just to be open and honest with your partner. Although you think you shouldn’t have to because you’re not doing anything wrong, don’t put the blame on your partner.
Just be open with them. Let them know what you’re doing, where you’re going, when you’ll be somewhere and why. If you know that it’s not your fault and your partner has trust issues from other relationships, it’s easier to check in with them.
Sure, the dreaded “counseling” word is enough to make some people cringe. However, dealing with trust issues can lead to other issues, including resentment. You might begin to resent your partner for them not trusting you, even though it’s not your fault.
An unbiased, third party counselor can bring to light issues that you and your partner both have, and let your partner know that while it’s normal to have trust issues from past relationships, it can be detrimental to the current relationship if you simply accept them and don’t try to work past them.
Your counselor can help you and your partner as a couple, and your counselor can also work with your partner alone to try to work past the issues that are responsible for the lack of trust to begin with.
Trust issues in a relationship are difficult to deal with, but it can be done. Working past your trust issues will lead to a healthier, happier relationship and better relationships with everyone around you, including friends, family and even co-workers.
While you might be able to talk to your partner about the trust issues in your relationship and work them out on your own, don’t be afraid to see a counselor to help you to delve deep and work through the issues that are really at the heart of the matter.
Above all, accept and love your partner without making them feel bad for having trust issues. Everyone has some sort of emotional baggage that they’re carrying around. What makes us better people is how we handle them!