Friends? Lovers? Pick One! – The One That Got Away…

So many men are afraid to approach a woman and ask her out… to make that first move.

Help! How can I escape the dreaded friend zone?

Of course, sometimes men get up the nerve to talk to women they like, but not quite to ask them out. So they become friends. And if they’re not careful, they STAY just friends… sliding down the slippery slope of the friend zone.

But here’s the real gem. Women will usually drop plenty of hints and innuendos, encouraging men to take that first step… to break the ice and ask them out. All you have to do is pay attention.

So don’t just sit there hoping for something to magically happen on it’s own. Take control of your own destiny. Talk to her and see where it goes!

Caution! Will you REALLY be happy just being her friend?

Then again, be prepared for whatever comes. If she’s not interested in a romantic relationship at the time, you have to decide if you would be truly want to be friends just to be close to her, of if it’s better to move on.

If so, then it’s worth a shot. Otherwise, do yourself and her a favor and move on. But remember, she may only be willing to be friends.

The secret – act out of love, not out of the fear of rejection

Every decision we make in life fundamentally comes down to one of two major motivators: love of fear.

When you take action, be open and completely at peace with whatever the outcome will be. Don’t dread the fact that she may possibly (for whatever reason) not be interested in a relationship with you at this time, and whatever you do – don’t be judgmental of her response. Accept yourself and her for where you are at this point in your lives.

Missed opportunities for love

We’ve all been there at one time or another in our lives. An amazing opportunity shows itself, and for some reason or another we don’t act. And by the time we decide to take action, the evaporates into thin air. That’s so frustrating!

Is that missed love opportunity gone forever?

Whether you’re talking about love, business, or money, opportunity is all about timing AND the courage to ACT. If you don’t seize the opportunity when it’s hot and fresh, then you may as well come to terms with the fact that you’re going to miss out. Chalk it up to lessons learned and wisdom gained, and move on.

BUT when dealing with people and romantic relationships, there are some exceptions to this rule. So… CAN you get her back even if you’ve missed that “right” opportunity?

Here’s a question from a man in Pennsylvania facing this very frustrating problem…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hello! I’m glad I stumbled onto your website since I have a dilemma of my own regarding dating. Nearly 2 years ago I became friends with one of my female co-workers. Eventually the friendship grew stronger as we started hanging out more and getting to know ourselves better. Of course, I eventually developed an attraction for this friend, but remained silent (big mistake). She dropped me many hints suggesting I should make a move and take the friendship to the next level. Unfortunately, I failed to read some of those signals and hence failed to act.

About two months later after she dropped these signals I confessed my feelings to her. Unfortunately she said that she did not feel the same way. She mentioned something about having feelings for me early in our friendship, but that the moment had passed. Of course after her rejection our friendship changed, and little by little we drifted apart. Although she made efforts to keep the friendship alive, I rejected her efforts. I figured it would be best for me to move on, and save my energy for the girl that would reciprocate those romantic feelings.

I eventually moved from the city where we met in order to pursue a higher level of education. Once again she tried to contact me, and even though I replied it was a bit of a half-ass effort (for lack of a better word) on my part. I haven’t heard from her in nearly 10 months now, and I miss her. I’m trying to convince myself that I should not be a coward and should give this thing a shot once again with a new approach. Its been nearly two years since I told her how I felt about her, and yet I still have strong feelings for her. It’s sad to admit, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.

What should I do? Should I just cast her out of my life forever? Am I condemned eternally to the “friends zone”? How do I get out of the “Friends Zone”? What should I do this time around to win her heart? Thank you for taking the time to hear my rants :) . I hope to hear from you soon.

– Nate, Pennsylvania


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