A relationship is a give and take – isn’t it? Not always – here are some strategies that will help you get your way in a relationship... continue reading
A relationship is a give and take – isn’t it? Not always – here are some strategies that will help you get your way in a relationship when you need to.
No matter how in love you may be, there are going to be plenty of times in your relationship where you and your significant other disagree about something. Maybe you can’t decide on where to move to, or maybe you just can’t agree on what to have for dinner. Either way, it is possible to get your way without coming off like a self-centered jerk. You just have to make a calm, reasonable argument and know how to pick your battles.
How Important Is It?
If you find that you and your partner are at an impasse, the first thing to do is to decide how truly important it is that you get your way. How upset will you really be if you have to let your S.O. win on this particular topic? If you feel that you can live with it, you should go ahead and let your partner win. In doing so, you’ll not only end the debating, but you’ll also give yourself bargaining power in future disagreements.
If you agree to move into your boyfriend or girlfriend’s apartment instead of having them move into your place, you may find that you have the upper hand when it comes to choosing your next place of residence.
On the other hand, if you decide that you really want to get your way on the matter at hand, you may have to suggest that you’ll let your significant other make the call next time. Either way, ensuring that neither of you always gets their way is a compromise that can pay off. It makes sure that you don’t look too self involved when it is your turn to get your way.
Solidify Your Argument
When you are determined to come out on top, make sure that you have a truly solid argument. A lawyer wouldn’t show up to court without having done their research, and you shouldn’t show up to a decision-making debate empty handed, either.
Let’s say you get a job offer that would require you both to move, and you know your partner likes where you currently live. You need to have a well-considered list of positives when the time comes to discuss the issue.
Moreover, your argument can’t just be about how the move would be good for you. You should be able to point out how it will benefit you, how it will benefit your mate, and how it will benefit you as a couple. Don’t gloss over things or fib about how great it will be, but do look for a way to sell your S.O. on it.
You might start by admitting that this new city will be more expensive than where you currently live, but that the raise you’ll be getting and all of the added amenities will make it worthwhile. Perhaps your partner loves hiking, and you know that this new city is near a big national park.
Not only will these positive revelations make your partner feel better about moving, but demonstrating how much research you’ve put into the decision shows them how much you care about it. If you can make them see how important it is to you, your S.O. will be more likely to let you have your way.
It’s also key that you make them feel included in the decision, even if the outcome does end up in your favor. Never make a big decision without consulting your partner, even if you suspect that it will take some effort to win them over.
Stay Calm And Don’t Be Critical
Ultimately, if you can remain calm and congenial while making a clear, solid argument, you’ll drastically increase your odds of getting your way. Promising to compromise on future issues or offering a trade off can help.
Most importantly, make sure that your significant other knows that you really do care about their opinion in the matter, and they are sure to show you the same respect.