Relationships are wonderful, but they do require a bit of TLC from time to time. We’ve all been in relationships where the love train... continue reading
Relationships are wonderful, but they do require a bit of TLC from time to time. We’ve all been in relationships where the love train came off the tracks.
How do you prevent that?
How do you manage to keep a relationship from derailing?
We have your answers.
What She Said About Keeping Your Relationship On Track
I have had the pleasure of derailing many relationships in my past and it always came down to lack of communication.
One partner shuts down (normally the girl), gets upset and then the other partner feeds off that and shuts down too. They stop talking about things and start fighting about bullshit things. This can lead to resentment and bad feelings, and these bad feelings can start off so small but explode because they weren’t talked about.
Communication Is Key
In order to keep a relationship strong and healthy the couple needs to put some work into it. A great way to keep a relationship strong is to talk, talk, talk. Always communicate about everything that matters.
Along with communicating, you need to listen too. Really listen to your partner! Listen to the small day to day tidbits and also listen to their dreams and goals. Be supportive and understanding and open. For women talking is easy, we talk a lot more than men but we need to also listen.
Give & Take Along With A Healthy Dose Of Respect
There needs to be give and take in relationships and each person should feel like they are being valued.
That being said another way to keep a relationship from derailing is to respect each other, even when you fight. There is nothing wrong with fighting but one should never ever attack their partner. You can be upset with them but if you start disrespecting them and attacking their character you are just putting them down. That is not fair nor does that lead to reaching a common ground. When you disrespect your man you start to be a bully, name calling and highlighting his faults. Your goal should never be to make your partner feel worse about themselves.
Never use the word “YOU” when talking about difficult topics. This has saved us many times in the past! –Dan & Jennifer
Have Something To Share
Another way to keep a relationship from derailing is to share common interests. It could be anything, favorite movies or sport team or a love of a certain food. You need to have something in common that you both agree on, adore and makes you feel good. That way when life gets crazy you always have a base of understanding and something that ties you two together.
Along the lines of sharing common interests, to keep a relationship strong you should have separate interests. You need to have days or night where you are able to do your own thing without feeling like you need your man with you. Do an activity outside your relationship that brings you joy and doesn’t require you man. This will also help keep you interesting, having your own hobby or activity is exciting and you can tell your man all about it.
Talk, Talk, Talk
All in all, to keep a relationship from derailing it is about communication!
Talking to him when you are super happy and talking to him when you are mad. Talking to him when you are doing things together, and talking to him when you are doing things apart. It’s all about knowing your man and respecting him and your relationship.
Do not let silence or resentment ruin a perfectly amazing love.
What He Said About Keeping Your Relationship On Track
I think the most important thing is to realize that this is something that could happen and can happen if you’re not careful. Your relationship could go completely off-track and leave you in the dirt wondering what happened!
I don’t care how amazingly well matched you and your partner are, I don’t care how great the sex is or how great a friends you are, your relationship can and will go off the tracks if you don’t make a deliberate effort to keep it on the tracks. I don’t care who you are, you have to work to keep your relationship from derailing. Denying the possibility only sets you up for the fall.
I think the most important way to keep your relationship from derailing is to have a strong foundation based on commonality or shared interests. There is such bullshit surrounding relationships, especially the matching part. This opposites attract notion is horseshit. Yes, they attract, but that only lasts so long in and of itself.
You need common interests and a lot in common. You need to be into a lot of the same things. You don’t see a lot of pro bodybuilders dating yoga instructors. There’s a reason for that. Bodybuilders and yoga instructors have absolutely nothing in common.
Work For It!
Assuming you did that part right, another great way to keep your relationship from derailing is to do preventative maintenance, like date night, tantric workshops, couples massage, whatever.
The easiest way to keep your relationship in shape is to keep working at it. You can’t not go to the gym and expect to be in shape, you have to keep going.
And if all else fails, there is always make up sex.