So here you are meeting a new and special person tonight. What thoughts are going through your head?
Well, “ What can I do or say to make myself look attractive to this other person?” for one.
In words you are likely thinking more of creating an image of yourself that is other than your true authentic self. Why is that?
Are You Comfortable With You?
If you reflect on this you may find that you’re not completely comfortable with who “you” are. It’ sad to say but most individuals find themselves in this situation. Hence they find themselves “putting on a mask” or another way of saying this is “playing games” that in truth are manipulative.
Why manipulative? Well, because by playing such games you are trying to get the other person to believe that you are someone other than who you are. In other words, you are lying to them as well as to yourself.
How Do You Feel?
Now stop for a moment and notice how that realization makes you feel about yourself? Not good I would imagine.
Would it therefore surprise you if I said that the negative feelings about one’s self that cause them to pretend to be someone else in part originate in the “game playing” behavior they choose to adopt.
So it’s a bit of a vicious cycle i.e. the game playing makes one feel bad about one’s self and the feeling bad about one’s self leads to the need to pretend to be someone else and hence more game playing!
Is There A Way Out Of The Cycle
So is one forever destined to be caught in this loop or is there a way out?
Well indeed there is a way out and this will allow you to begin to feel at home in your own skin as what I call your True Authentic Self. This is an experience of self that is associated with self confidence, self esteem, honesty, inner peace and calm, resilience, joy, contentment, clarity, feeling totally alive, spontaneity and much more.
At the root of breaking out of the negative loop I mentioned above and achieving this new state of being is a new process I developed over 10 years ago called the Mind Resonance Process®(MRP). Let me orient you to the MRP experience briefly here.
One of the reasons why game playing takes place is because of a poor self image which results from having been rejected, humiliated , embarrassed or shamed in early life. If you have had such an experience I ask you to recall it briefly right now.
Let’s call this experience “My Memory of Poor Self Image”.
What is the benefit to you of having this memory stored inside you? Initially you may say “nothing” however I ask you to reflect on this for a moment. Although there may be many reasons you can come up with I will choose a common one for illustration purposes which I’m sure you’ll resonate with.
So a primary reason that might make the Memory beneficial is that it teaches you to avoid exposing yourself in ways that could potentially lead to a repeat scenario.
Hence one could conclude that the Memory has some protective purpose i.e. it protects you from getting hurt once again.
If this is so then one should be feeling safe, secure, calm, self assured, relaxed, content, peaceful and resilient in one’s interaction with others as a result of having the Memory “on board” so to speak.
Is that however the case? Well of course not because whenever you think about the Memory (and even when you don’t because it’s always inside you, isn’t it?) it makes you feel anxious, poorly about yourself, unattractive, defective or deficient, less than others, afraid of being exposed or found out, and so on.
Hence the Memory is toxic to you, correct?
So that makes the conclusion above that “the Memory causes you to feel safe, secure, calm, self assured, relaxed, content, peaceful and resilient in one’s interaction with others” is false.
Release The False Belief
So if you wish to release this false belief from within you (and I suggest you try this to experience the effect) then simply ask as if speaking from your heart that it be permanently released from your life now.
Next, if you wish, ask that the Memory itself be released from your life.
Finally, envision and feel how you would rather be in your interactions with others and if that feels good to you then assert to yourself that this is where you’d rather be.
Notice now how you feel. If you’ve followed me so far I know that you will be feeling better about yourself and within yourself than you have in a long time.