So you’ve started dating a new person and you’re curious about previous relationships… We all are.
We want to know if our partner has had sex with other people; and the masochistic side of us wants to know how many, and if they were better than us. But what happens when we find out…
Do we get angry? Do we accept our partner for who they are?
What would you do?
Are you really prepared to hear the truth? You better be before you ask the question.
Is Anger Over Previous Sex Partners Justified?
It’s In The Past – Let It Go
The issue here is that we are all incredibly insecure about ourselves and our relationships…
The thing you have to realize is that previous sex partners and other life experiences are what made your partner who they are today. Just because he or she had sex with other people does not change how they feel about you now and should not change how you feel about them.
It’s A Control Thing
Why is it that men, in general, can be so judgmental about women? It seems to be a bit of a quagmire. Men expect women to be virgins and women expect men to have eyes only for her after they meet.
In reality this is just a control thing…
Recognize that you cannot control another person; either their actions before they met you, how they feel and act when there with you, and what they do after they move on from you.
It’s time to recognize that we’re all human beings who come from different places and circumstances and we all have life experiences that are different from one another. It’s time to stop judging one another and accept our differences.
There’s an old 70′s song called “Walk a Mile in My Shoes”. I think we should all listen to the lyrics of this song before passing judgment on another.
Here just a few lines:
If I could be you and you could be me for just one hour
If we could find a way to get inside each other’s mind
If you could see me through your eyes instead of your ego
I believe you’d be surprised to see that you’d been blind.
Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
And before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes.
And for those a little younger, how about “What It’s Like” by Everlast…
God forbid you ever had to walk mile in his/her shoes
Then you really might know what its like to have to choose
Then you really might know what its like (what its like)
These two songs contain strong wisdom that crosses generations.
Avoid Anger, Judgment, And Resentment
The irony here, is that we all want honesty and our relationship, but, with one huge caveat… We want our partner to tell us what we want to hear, whether it’s true or not.
To make your relationship work, you simply have to learn to avoid anger, judgment, and resentment. These emotions can eat us up inside. It’s time to forgive, love, and accept one another for who we really are, not to someone else thinks we should be…
If you’re not able to accept a partner for who they are today, recognizing that their past experiences are what made them who they are today, then it’s time to move on.
This is not the right relationship for you. Keep looking for that perfect person who has none of your faults and who has never made a mistake.
Not what she wanted to hear? Sorry. Just being honest…