A relationship should be a private thing between two people. Your lips are sealed, but hers never stay shut! How do you handle a woman who’s an open book when you’re super private? how do you prevent her from talking about your naughty bits and other intimate details?
What She Said:
Well, it’s pretty simple – you can “find out” by asking her directly and you can “get her to stop” by requesting her to, respectfully, cut it out.
It sounds like I’m being a smart ass, but it’s actually a fairly straightforward solution. You don’t want to be in a relationship where there’s a bunch of game playing going on. The phrase “finding out” makes it sound like you’re going to be snooping around on your mate. That doesn’t sit well with me and, my guess is, it probably won’t sit right with her either.
If your partner is, in fact, talking about everything in your relationship to her girlfriends, ask her to cease and desist. Keep in mind that everyone needs an outlet outside of their partners – her pals allow her to vent safely, which actually helps keep you off the hot seat. However, while friends are very important, they shouldn’t supersede your romantic connection.
It sounds like you’re worried private things in your relationship are being discussed, and that’s left you feeling vulnerable. That’s perfectly natural – no one likes the thought of his or her privacy being compromised. While your girl might need to spend an evening dishing with the gals over martinis, it’s perfectly reasonable to put some boundaries in place. This is out of respect for you and the health of your relationship.
Keep The Sex Talk Off Limits
There are some things that are off limits – even to girlfriends. I’d never divulge my husband’s confidences for some Happy Hour chatter – well, then or any other time. The size of his penis and our sex life is for us to share – not fodder for my gals. Acknowledge to your woman that you understand a woman needs her friends, but let her know subjects that would make you uncomfortable if other people knew. If you’re in a good relationship, your partner will respect your request and all should be well.
What He Said:
Yes, you should ask her and yes, your partner shouldn’t say certain things to her girlfriends, but the real question is how will you know?
So your partner says nothing is said about your penis and how you use it, or whatever else you don’t want her friends knowing. How do you know your partner won’t tell them?
You kind of have to just trust her. If your S.O. loves you, it shouldn’t be an issue. Your partner probably won’t be saying this stuff to her friends, but if your partner is, ask her to stop. Your S.O. should respect your boundaries and needs in a relationship. (Beware the girls who say they are “an open book” that means they blab their shit to everyone).
Just make sure to say things like “this is something that stays between us” or “don’t tell your friends about this” so your S.O. can’t come back and say “you never told me not to tell” cause women are crafty like that.
Seriously though, you should know the answer to this question. If you don’t trust her by now, why are you with her?