Have you ever been in a relationship you knew wasn’t GOOD for you, but for some reason you stayed in it anyway – much longer than you should have?
Maybe you put up with lies and indiscretions. Maybe you even put up with verbal and physical abuse but for some reason just couldn’t bring yourself to end the relationship.
For many of us, when we do get the courage to break it of, we often look back through rose colored glasses and wonder if we made a mistake. Maybe it was me? Maybe I should have stayed, tried harder? There really were a lot of ‘good times’ mixed in with the bad…
But now, looking back, you know deep down that it should have lasted as long as it did.
So what’s the attraction behind these magical intoxicating relationships?
At first it feels like it must be love. But is it really?
Maybe it’s just really amazing sex… Or maybe the attraction is because the other person seems very exotic and different from anyone you’ve ever met. Whatever the reason, you find yourself in a destructive and toxic relationship that’s obviously going no where fast, and yet you just can’t seem to leave.
There are lots of reasons and excuses for staying like “The sex is so great”, “I feel alive when we’re together”, or “I just can’t explain it”. And to a person trapped in this type of relationship, it is hard to explain.
But at some point, the infatuation and mystery starts to wear off just a bit, enough for you to open your eyes and start asking questions. Is this person really good for me? Are they honest with me? Do they really care about me?
If any of this sounds familiar to you now, it’s time to trust your instincts and take off those rose colored glasses. Be honest with yourself about the reality of the relationship. If it feels toxic, then it probably is. End it now and move on with your life. Find a partner who treats you with the love and respect that you deserve.
Here’s a question from Kim in South Carolina who’s suspects that she may have just left one of these toxic relationships and is now having doubts about doing the right thing…
Dear Dan and Jennifer,
I have been seeing a guy that I have known for many years. He is 12 years younger than I am, and we have been seeing each other for about 10 months. I called it off because this relationship feels toxic to me!
He lies about things that I know aren’t the truth, but I love him! Did i do the right thing?
Signed Kim, missing him so much!!!
– Kim (South Carolina)