Long distance relationships are tough. Think about it – maintaining a happy partnership is hard enough to accomplish on its own. When you... continue reading
Long distance relationships are tough. Think about it – maintaining a happy partnership is hard enough to accomplish on its own. When you put miles of actual distance between the people in one, it’s even more difficult to make things work. Some people are better at long distance relationships than others, so how can you tell if you’re one of them? Furthermore, once you’re in a one, how best can you make it work?
Starting Long Distance Relationships
If you’re thinking about starting this kind of partnership with someone, there are a lot of factors to consider. First of all, think back to your previous romances. Are you the kind of person who needs to spend a lot of face time with your significant other? If you know that you prefer hang time to phone time, you’re going to have a really tough go with a partnership like that.
You also need to think about whether or not you’re the jealous type. People who get jealous easily in partnerships often have a difficult time with far away love. When you aren’t there to meet your boyfriend or girlfriend’s friends and colleagues in person, it can be easy to imagine them flirting with others and possibly cheating on you.
That state of not-knowing can make a jealous individual start obsessing over all sorts of bad things in long distance relationships. It’s particularly important to have a strong sense of trust so when the trust unravels, things rapidly fall apart. Ultimately, you need to be someone who is fairly independent and can handle an element of the unknown in your partnership.
How You Can Make It Work
Should you find that you can do without a lot of face-to-face time, you can start thinking about how you’ll make it work. You will need to plan times to talk to each other on the phone and online. This includes both regular talking and intimate talking such as phone sex. It’s important to consider time zone differences and come up with a time of day that you’ll both typically be available during to talk. If you both get webcams, you can use internet video chatting services, that way you at least get to see each other every day, if not in person.
Of course, video chatting won’t make up for a lack of legitimate physical contact. You’re going to want to devote a portion of both of your incomes to a travel budget. As often as you can, go visit each other. Depending on the distance you live apart, you may be able to see each other every single weekend, or it might only be once every couple of months. Either way, make sure to set up a schedule where you trade off doing the traveling. Definitely make sure that you find a way to spend important holidays and milestones together, as well.
Do You Want An Open Relationship?
Some people elect to make their long distance relationships open relationships. That means that each party in the partnership is allowed to date other people, as long as they give their partner a heads up. Depending on how serious your relationship is, this could be an okay idea. However, this can often end up messily.
Sometimes one person is doing all the dating and the other one starts to feel upset about it. Just make sure that you’re both on the same page about the seriousness of your romance before you consider making it an open one. Never feel like you have to agree to open long distance relationships if you’re uncomfortable with your S.O. dating other people.
Regardless of it being open or closed, just know that you have to be able to trust your partner when you’re far apart. Make an effort to bridge the distance gap with regular communication and visits, and things will work out okay. Who knows? If all goes well, one of you may even end up moving to be with the other.