When you’re in relationship with someone, it can be so easy to want to spend every moment you have with them, particularly in the beginning of the relationship. However, there’s a fine line between what is and isn’t healthy. If you start to notice that you never see your friends anymore, or you’re dropping activities you used to love from your schedule, things may have gone too far.
You may even realize that you’re beginning to grow bored with dating your boyfriend and girlfriend because you’re slipping into a routine. We can’t expect one person to satisfy all of our needs, so we have to have a well-rounded life. You may be surprised to find that pursuing your own interests and friendships can actually make you and your mate that much more intrigued by each other.
How Much Is Too Much?
Perhaps you are feeling smothered by your relationship, or you suspect you’ve lost your sense of self. Think back to the things you did when you were single. Did you have a regular ladies’ or guys’ night? Were you a member of a club or sports team, or taking a class to pursue a hobby? While you may not want to pursue every activity from when you were single, it’s worth adding a few back into your lifestyle. You don’t even have to do something as frequently as you used to. If you and your girlfriends had a weekly movie night, perhaps you can try to attend at least twice a month.
Maybe your monthly camping trip with the boys can now be done three times a year. As long as you’re maintaining at least one other important relationship in your life and taking some time out of your schedule for them, that’s a start. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. You may find that your girlfriend is that much more excited about spending the following weekend with you upon your return from that camping trip.
Keep Up With Your Own Hobbies And Interests
It is also important to keep up with hobbies and other interests you have, whether you invite your significant other to participate in them with you or keep them an alone-time activity. This isn’t just because you’ll feel happier, but also because it makes you a more interesting person. Your partner loves you for all the things that make you a unique individual, and that includes the fact that you love to read, or cook, or go running every morning.
Maybe you can no longer play video games for an entire Saturday afternoon, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fit in an hour here or there. Plus, this helps encourage your S.O. to develop his or her own interests. While you’re busy baking that cake, your mate can head outside and practice free throws. Now you have that much more to discuss with and learn from each other.
Don’t Shoulder Your Partner With The Responsibility Of Making You Happy
Truthfully, it boils down to this—if you drop all of your friends and hobbies for a relationship, you’re now reliant on your partner for all of your happiness. That’s not fair to either of you, and it can place a strain on your relationship in the long run. You will both feel better if you can learn how to maintain a sense of self-worth. It’s important to have friends there for the times when things aren’t going so great with your boy/girlfriend.
You need a network of support, just as you need to know that you can make yourself happy through hobbies and solo fun. Having two well-rounded people in a relationship will make that relationship that much more compelling. That’s the best way to ensure a long, happy and interesting romance.