Retrosexual Men and the Women Who Love Them

A new book offering relationship help is coming to America!  It will cross the Atlantic from the United Kingdom, land on our shores, and insist that the time has come for men to be real men.

Enough with men learning how to be caring, sensitive males, asserts Dave Besley, author of “The Retrosexual Manual.”  It is time for men to be true to themselves and quit pandering to the women in their lives!

What is Retrosexual?

Dave’s book has a particularly British feel as he calls retrosexual men “blokes” and metrosexual men “prats.”  In a short amount of time, a reader can have the colloquialisms down and get the man’s point.

Dave is a man on a mission.  He says the change men have surrendered to during the past two decades has been like a “social osmosis.”  Making men feel like half-men, half women, they have become “strange, uncomfortable beings whose self-esteem has been eroded, whose needs had been ignored and desires suppressed.”

Tired of being asked to be a metrosexual male himself, Dave decided to fight back.  In “The Retrosexual Manual,” Dave encourages men to be tough and dominant as he says they were designed to be.  Using the success of his own relationship as an example, Dave asserts that the retrosexual male is the kind of man women truly desire.

What Kind of Man Do Women Really Want?

In case you missed the news when the term “metrosexual” male became popular within the past few years, a metrosexual male is a man who gives a lot of attention to his appearance in terms of clothes, hair and skin care products, even indulging in facials and visits to spas.

The metrosexual male was the result of the feminist pendulum swinging to its widest point for those men who worked hard to be everything their women wanted.  Dave calls these types of men a woman’s perfect accessory.  In such a man, she has a male best friend and confidant with whom she can have sex.

In spite of Dave Besley’s in-your-face approach, the pendulum swinging back to center for both men and women is a breath of fresh air.  I do not think we need to return to the romantic relationships of the 1950’s and 60’s, as he suggests.

I do believe we have arrived at a place where equality of the sexes embraces men and women loving themselves and each other enough to embrace their differences as well as their similarities…

Relationships in the Post-Modern, Post-Feminist Era

In this post-modern, post-feminist era, we live with the fact that we did not reach some of the highest ideals of the modern and feminist periods of history.  In the modern period, we expected to find a cure for cancer.  We didn’t.

Feminists expected to create a world where we treat men and women fairly in the workplace.  Even though more women are working at jobs and careers once deemed inappropriate for them, and some women are the top breadwinners in their homes, the goal of equal pay for equal work wasn’t reached.

In addition, in this present era, we live with the consequences of lives that move so fast, we have lost touch with rites of passage that would allow men and women to identify with their same sex parent in such a way that their relationships with their romantic partners and their children would improve ten-fold.

What allows a man to be a man isn’t being brutish and domineering.  What allows a woman to be a woman isn’t being sweet and submissive.  Some men and women are those things, but those things are not the defining factors of the masculine and feminine.

The thing that frees up a man to be a man is he resonating with his own masculine center.  Then his way of being and the actions that flow from that center have potency and purpose.

The thing that frees up a woman to be a woman is she resonating with her own feminine center.  Then her way of being and the actions that flow from that center bring her fulfillment and purpose.

What It Means For Men and For Women

Therefore, you can find men pursuing all kinds of dreams that may or may not look masculine; yet, the juice that drives them to take purposeful action comes from their masculine center.  Those men are accepting of who they are.

They do not have to look to women to affirm their masculinity.  Furthermore, women’s accomplishments do not threaten them because they know who they are as men.

Similarly, you can find women pursuing all kinds of dreams that may or may not look feminine; yet, the juice that fuels their fulfillment comes from their feminine center.  They do not have to take care of the men in their lives in order to find fulfillment, nor do they have to compete with the men in their lives in order to feel seen and heard.

Retrosexual Relationships

In their romantic relationships, men whose potency comes from their masculine center of being and women whose fulfillment comes from their feminine center of being are freer to celebrate each other’s essence and accomplishments, rejoicing in their own essence and accomplishments as well.

Such lovers bring confidence, security, playfulness, and passion to the bedroom as well as all other aspects of their relationship!

Let’s take advantage of this time when men and women are coming back to center.  We can quit trying so hard to be like each other.

A woman can be a powerful contributor to society without being “ballsy.”  She can also create time to relax, unwind, and tap into the soft, sexy, center of her being that is receptive and alive with a slow burning kundalini fire that is just waiting for inspiration to ignite.

A man can be a powerful contributor to society in whatever way he chooses without being condemned for either being too domineering or soft a male!  He can approach his romantic partner with the confidence to seduce her and love her deeply, madly, passionately!

Put them together and you have a power couple that takes time to nurture their relationship and themselves even as they make a powerful difference in the world around them!


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