Everyone knows that guys get freaked out at the age old question, “How do you feel about our relationship?” Even statements along the lines of “We need to talk” usually send guys running for the hills.
Why is this? How can you talk to your man about your relationship without scaring him off? What is the right way to go about it so your relationship can stay positive?
“Honey, we need to talk [about our relationship]“…
Why Do Men Always Get Defensive When You Want To Talk?
They’re scared they’ll get it wrong.
When women ask men questions, they’re always afraid of giving the wrong answer. It doesn’t even matter what the question is most of the time.
If the “right answer” isn’t clear from the get go, men tend to shy away from talking about the subject with you at all. Many times, this stems from women getting angry and frustrated when a man does happen to answer a question. If he happens to answer with the “wrong” answer, the woman will get angry and the entire situation will get blown out of proportion.
If this happens,especially if it happens numerous times, men only learn that when they answer questions, bad things happen!
More often than not, men would rather not give an answer at all and shy away from the discussion than risk giving the “wrong” answer and getting a lot of flack for it.
Creating A Positive Atmosphere
You can avoid this by simply staying calm if your man gets an answer “wrong.” In essence, there really are no wrong answers. Discussing a relationship or other issues are actually just talking about how each person feels.
This isn’t wrong or right ,but what is said can upset the other person. By staying calm and collected even if your partner does something to upset you, you’ll keep your partner open to opening up.
Get angry and take it out on him, and he’ll close like a clam. Encourage him to open up by simply having a positive attitude about what he says. If something upsets you, tell him – in a nice way.
Asking the Dreaded Question.
Don’t approach a situation with the words, “We need to talk.” This only scares guys away. Women might not think it’s a big deal, but to men the mere suggestion of that type of discussion evokes a strong evacuation instinct. They can’t help it.
You can, however, help how you approach the situation. Say something positive about the relationship, for example, how much you enjoy a certain aspect of it. Then let him respond to that. Chances are, when approached like that, your partner will likely open up with what he enjoys about the relationship as well.
When the conversation starts rolling along in that manner, you can bring up issues that you have, of course, in a positive way. Avoid negative language like “you never” or “you always.”
It’s hard to do, but avoid placing blame. Just talk about the situation calmly with your partner and let them know how you feel. Avoid ranting and above all, give you partner room to talk to. No man enjoys being a listening post for a woman on a frustrated rampage.
Talk about any issues you have with your partner right away so you can avoid penting up your frustration and taking it all out on your partner at once.