Why Are Men So Afraid of ‘I Love You’?

Many women have been in relationships where the man is hesitant to say those three little words that she’s anxious to hear, “I love you.”

Why do men have such an issue with saying that they love a woman, especially if they’ve been dating for quite some time and have become exclusive?

“Why are men so afraid to say ‘I love you’?”

Commitment Phobia

Many men are afraid of commitment. That’s just the way it is. Many men don’t want to settle down and even when they are ready to settle down, they’re afraid of admitting it to themselves and to other people.

Society makes huge demands on men, including putting out the idea that men are supposed to be frivolous when it comes to women and date around. It can be difficult for a man, especially for a man that is afraid of commitment, to think of himself as someone who has settled down.

Many men feel that once you’ve settled down, you’ve lost your “spunk” or your sexuality and some men feel that once they settle down, a woman begins to control their lives. We’ve all heard those horror stories of grown men having curfews, and these are things that can cause a man to be afraid of telling their partner that they love them.

Societal Pressure

Many men feel pressure from society to be “manly” and feel they will be made fun of or ridiculed when they choose to share their feelings.

From childhood, men are taught that they shouldn’t share their feelings and the way society views men that do share their feelings is a hefty contributor to the fact that many men are afraid to tell their partners they love them.

A combination of societal pressure and commitment phobia are huge factors that contribute to the reasons that men don’t say, “I love you.”

What Do You Do?

If you’re a woman who’s been dating a man who hasn’t said, “I love you,” especially you have been dating him for a significant period of time, you most likely feel frustrated and at a loss. If you’re in this position, give your partner more time.

You can’t force him to love you or even to say it, whether he means it or not. Look for other ways that he might show you he loves you. Does he fill your car with gas? Does he pick up your favorite food when he runs to the grocery store?

Men show their feelings and let their partner know they love them in a number of ways, besides just saying, “I love you.” It’s possible for your partner to tell you he loves you without really saying the words at all!

Relax a little bit and let your partner show you that they love you in their own time, on their own terms. If you love your partner, don’t be afraid to say it. Just make sure that your partner doesn’t feel pressured to say it back just because you said it.

Eventually, if you and your partner become very close and end up in a long term relationship or even a marriage, your partner will tell you that they love you – even if it’s just between you and him.


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