Will You Be a Victim This Break-Up Season?

Valentine’s Day is just over a month away but according to new research from Yahoo! Personals, Cupid is charting a tricky course for the next few weeks.

The study shows we are now in National Break-Up Season, the period between the December holidays and Valentine’s Day when people are more than twice as likely to think about breaking up than at any other time of the year.

January, with all its focus on resolutions to be healthier, richer, and happier, naturally leads couples to take stock of their relationships and think about whether they are with the right person. Love is in the air alright, but not for everyone…

According to Yahoo!Personals,  nearly 4 out of 10 people will reassess their dating life.

"’Find a new love’ is up there with ‘lose weight’ and ‘save more money’ as a New Year’s resolution," said Anna Zornosa, vice president and general manager, Yahoo! Personals. "People tend to ‘put up’ with current relationships in order to have a partner for holiday gatherings, but once the festivities are over it’s time to decide whether to fish or cut bait."

National Break-Up Season affects not only people ending the relationships but also those being left and the friends who will be asked to console and counsel them. Looking at break-ups from all sides of the story, Yahoo! Personals has created a Survival Guide offering advice on how to make a break-up less painful for everyone.

Here’s what you’ll find at http://personals.yahoo.com/breakupguide:

  • The ultimate guide to beating the break-up blues This helpful guide is jam-packed with tips from psychologists, dating experts and fellow singles to help get that pit out of your stomach, heal the wounds and fill the void.
  • 10 steps to breaking it off Is she too controlling? Is he too aloof? Too allergic to your dog? Whatever the imbalance, we have the official step-by-step guide to ending the drama and the relationship on as high a note as possible.
  • How to support your friend though the rough patch A shoulder to cry on is a nice place to start. But how do you know exactly what your heart-broken friend needs in order to move on? We have the answers so that you can help.

Click here to read the full press release on Business Wire.

If you do find yourself in the middle of a break up, here are 5 things that we think will help.

  1. Get a journal to vent your pain, anger, and frustration.
    Never under estimate of putting your thoughts on paper.  It allows to get your feelings out of your head and prevents them from eating you alive from the inside out. It can keep you from saying things to your EX you may later regret. Write out all of those nasty things that you would like to say in your journal instead – you’ll feel just as good and will avoid any unnecessary altercations with your EX. 
  2. Don’t try to stay friends – at least not at first…
    In the beginning, you both need time to heal and truly get over the relationship. Trying to be friends during this stage, will only cause you to hold on to those old feelings. If you have obligations that require you to stay in contact like children or your job, don’t talk about your former relationship, your new partners, or anything else that you know may be a volatile topic. Keep your conversations relevant to your children or work and away from highly those charged emotional topics. 
  3. Delete them from your life.
    Delete their phone number from your speed dial, delete all of their emails, cards, and letters. We recommend that you get rid of anything and everything in your home that holds any energy or emotional charge from the relationship. Everything that your keep ties your energy to theirs and will make it very difficult to attract new experiences, and new people, into your life. 
  4. Give yourself time to heal.
    Don’t jump right into another relationship to fill the emptiness that you may now be feeling. Allow yourself time to experience the pain and feel the anger. Understand that you are not your anger and you are not your sadness. They are just experiences, however intense, that should be welcomed into your life just as much as joy and happiness. We need these experience to grow and to become stronger. The best way to get over something hurtful is to allow yourself to truly experience it. Here is a terrific program that has helped both Dan and I get rid of tons of old emotional baggage: The Sedona Method  
  5. Focus on you.
    Take the time right after a break-up to examine your life. Get in tough with what’s really important to you.  Often in a relationship, especially a long term relationship, our passions and goals get intermingled with our partner’s. Sometimes, we can even forget the things that we really love and enjoy.   Here’s a great resource to help you get back in touch with your true passions: The Passion Test

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