Help! I Fantasize About Being A Prostitute!

Everyone has a fantasy – some, more than others. Many people choose not to act out their fantasies, afraid that their fantasies will offend someone, or embarrass them. You can, however, act out your fantasy in a safe, fun way with your partner, making your sex life that much sweeter. How can you act out your fantasy with your partner, especially if you’re not sure that they share your fantasy?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I fantasize about being a prostitute, having sex with strangers and being naughty – having to do what the other person wants and even getting paid for it. I want to experience this fantasy with my husband, but he’s not comfortable being the ‘dominant’ one. How can we pull this off so that everyone has fun?

–Lisa, WA

Consenting Adults Get The Green Light

When it comes to acting out a fantasy, as long as your fantasy is safe (as in, doesn’t cause anyone harm) and is between consenting adults, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to act out your fantasy and have fun! No matter what your fantasy is, if you’re not hurting anyone and everyone involved is okay with it, there’s nothing that should stop you from satisfying your deepest sexual desires and fantasies.

Sexual Compatibility

That said, many people don’t share the same fantasies and might be uncomfortable with another person’s fantasy. How can you tell if your partner is sexually compatible with you and your fantasy without putting yourself out there and risking embarrassment? The trick is not to have a “sit down” talk with your partner. Often, this can be overwhelming for a partner, especially if your fantasy is something they’ve never had any experience with before. Try introducing your partner to your fantasy slowly, by dressing in some lingerie or a costume that suits your fantasy, or even simply playing with dominant and submissive roles. If your partner shows that he or she is interested in your fantasy, or turned on by what you’re doing, try introducing a little more each time until you’re really ready to tell them about what you want to act out and what your fantasy is.

Fantasy Box

Many couples and partners use something called a “fantasy box” where they can submit their fantasies on paper in a safe and fun environment. With a fantasy box, you can write your fantasies down on a piece of paper, and slip it into the box. Every week (or however often you would like), you can pull a piece of paper out of the box and act out the fantasy. It’s fun to be spontaneous, and both you and your partner already know you’ll be acting out a fantasy, so you’ll be in a great mindset to have a good time! Some fantasies take a bit of preparation, so, it can also be fun to pull a fantasy out of the box a few weeks ahead of time and go shopping together for toys, lubes or costumes – whatever your fantasy requires!

The bottom line is, as long as your fantasy – whether it be acting out the fantasy of being a prostitute or something else – is between consenting adults, and you introduce your fantasy slowly to your partner or use a fantasy box, you can have fun indulging in your sexual desires and grow closer to your partner.


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