How To Get Her To Reveal Her Darkest Sexual Fantasies

Sexual fantasies are one of the best tools in the pleasure arsenal. If you act out or talk about your partner’s fantasy during intercourse, you’re likely to amp up her arousal dramatically. Her sexual fantasies can also give you ideas about which techniques and positions she may be most open to trying.

Some Sexual Fantasies Should Stay Where They Belong

Remember that some fantasies are not meant to be act out. A client of mine from a few years back had a partner who fantasized about watching him receive oral sex from another woman. This was not a fantasy she wanted to really see, however. Instead, it represented how turned on she became by watching people having sex. Fantasies involving violence or bondage may represent a partner’s desire to take a more dominant or submissive role during sex but may not mean your partner literally wants to be hit or tied up.

It’s A Two Way Street

Conversations about your fantasies should also be a two-way street. If you’re asking her to confide her innermost secrets, then you need to be willing to confess yours as well. Let me give you a word of caution about revealing your fantasies. Most of us have multiple fantasies and some of those fantasies may involve women other than our partners.

If that’s the case for you, keep those fantasies to yourself. Nothing makes a woman feel less desirable than knowing her partner is fantasizing about other women. It may even make her feel like you’re cheating, even though you’re technically not. Fantasy discussions can take place almost anywhere. The bedroom is a good place because sometimes just talking about fantasies can turn one or both of you on. However, you could also have the discussion anywhere you have some privacy. Also, it should be obvious but it’s worth stating anyway that whatever your partner reveals to you should remain confidential.

Keep It A Secret

Don’t go running off to people you know and telling them what your partner fantasizes about. When she finds out, and she will, her trust in you will plummet and you’ll never get her to confide in you again.

Of course, you should also share with her the details of your own fantasy. If she tells you her fantasy first, then follow her lead. The more details she includes in hers the more details you need to include in yours. It wouldn’t seem fair for her to provide an elaborate description of her fantasy only to have you say, “I dream about having sex with you on the hood of a car” or something similar.

If she’s not comfortable talking to you about her fantasy, then you may want to go ahead and tell her yours. Once you’ve confided your secret it may make her feel more secure about telling hers. If not, drop the subject and come back to it after you’ve been together a little longer. The more trust you build between you in the relationship the more likely she is to tell you her secrets.


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