Do Promiscuous Women Cause Earthquakes?

Last Friday in Tehran, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi told his worshippers that they were in danger if they did not follow strict modesty codes. He claimed, “Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes.”

It’s almost hard to believe that anyone would say that, but in light of this statement, it’s no surprise that in our culture, women are often perceived as victims or prostitutes. So I suppose we’re also responsible for 9/11, the volcanic eruption in Iceland, and global warming, too! How many of you were wearing low-cut shirts the day General Motors went down the drain? It’s all your fault! How about the economic crisis – that was probably caused by that knee-length skirt I was wearing on the day the stock market crashed. All jokes aside, more men than you think believe this nonsense. Look at Sandra Bullock’s husband, Jesse James – he’s a sex addict who claims that his behavior has nothing to do with him, and everything to do with those pesky women who keep leading him astray. It’s amazing how powerful men believe we are, and more to the point, how much power they’re willing to shift onto us, even in situations like natural disasters where blame isn’t necessary.

Behind The Fallacy

If I were Mother Nature, I would find this man, and all other men who sought to cast shame on others, who aimed to blame them for the injustice in the world. I would summon up the most violent storm imaginable, and I would strike these men with lightning, thunder, hurricanes, right in their hearts. My goal would be to cleanse them of this nonsense, and teach them that what goes around, comes around.

If I were an analyst, I would probably find this man to be in a lot of emotional trouble, possibly due to a dysfunctional childhood or some trauma in his youth. His distorted sense of reality has caused him to project his internal feelings of helplessness, thus creating this imaginary threat of women who can cause natural disasters. I would recommend a prolonged stay in a psychiatric hospital.

If I were enlightened, I would do my best to search out the Divine, even in this man. I would recognize his emotional illness, and note his violent separation from his higher self. There once was a monk who was known to wake students’ spirits up with a two-by-four between the eyes – I think that method might work well in this case.

If I had a crystal ball, I would sit this man down and show him the future of Iranian genetic engineering clinics. The clinics would be run by women, who for some strange reason felt it right to make some genetic alterations to man’s anatomy. Penises would be offered only to men who were approved by a sacred council, who had shown themselves as honorable and worthy of respect.

If I were a man, I would feel ashamed to be grouped together with this man, and angry that someone who engages in this sort of humiliation, degradation, and violence is even allowed to call himself a man. I would suggest ways in which this man could be given a taste of his own medicine. Perhaps we could start with a chastity belt, and as for the key, we could give that to the woman who fled Iran because her brother-in-law had burned her sister alive for dressing in a way he found inappropriate.

If I were an Iranian woman living in Iran, I’d probably swear off men forever!


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