Sex Before Marriage – Single People Of The World Rejoice!

My single brothers and sisters, we need to talk.

After reading a great article from Bella M. DePaulo about single life, it seems single people get the shaft on many levels: the workplace, getting housing (despite having the means to pay for it), the notion married people are happier than single people in the workplace, etc. The one area I think Ms. DePaulo is missing that’s a slight towards single people is sexuality.

Consequences of promiscuous sexual behavior

For a long time, you’ve been warned from parental units to the street preachers not to engage in promiscuous sexual behavior. Many single people — Christians or non-believers — would spend moments worrying if God has a lightning bolt with your name engraved on it for having a sexual thought or touching yourself in an inappropriate way.

Funny how you’re asked to put your life on the line by joining the military, drive a car, pay taxes, hold a job, and find housing for yourself and you still can’t be trusted for your own sexual lives.

Many in the church think single people are unable to control yourself and that you’re one step away from being an extra on a Girls Gone Wild DVD. I believe its time for the church, parents and our government to stop treating you like children and give the information needed to face your sexual life with confidence.

Save yourself for marriage?

Too often many in the Christian circles try to scare you into a forced life of single celibacy (what the rest of us call abstinence): Save yourself for marriage lest you become a raging sex fiend. In their minds, fear and guilt can cause many to avoid sex and save themselves from contracting STDs or risk pregnancy.

The ultimate cure all to sexual activity is marriage. One problem: Marriage doesn’t give you automatic knowledge about sexuality on the same lines as becoming a single persons can’t make you fully knowledgeable about handling an adult relationship.

Add to it the fury is the misuse of the word “fornication” from many pulpits and Bible scholars and you have young adults confused as to what God means about sex outside of marriage. Instead of its proper usage, they lump this word with every abnormal expression of sexuality instead of normal expressions of sexual intimacy.

Singles are reduced to sitting at the kiddy table of life. “Here, here little Johnny or Jane, we’ll cut up your plate of what you can have sexually for you and you’ll eat what we tell you to or else you can do without.”

Enough!

What does the Bible say about sex outside of marriage?

Here’s a very simple thing you can do if anyone challenges you about being sexually active as a single person: Dare them to look up in the Bible one verse or statement specifically stating God saying no to any single person having sexual relationships outside of marriage.

As Depeche Mode would say, “enjoy the silence.”

I’m glad you are dancing around and giving yourself a high five, but before you book trips to Hedonism III or Las Vegas there are a few things you need to keep in mind when it comes to how you should treat your significant other — current or future.

Sex advice for singles

  • Don’t run amok to have aimless un-controlling sex. No need to be a glutton for sex. Moderation is key.
  • Masturbation is good! Healthy doses of self love is a good way to get in touch with what you enjoy.
  • Educate yourself on issues of sexuality and relationship. May I suggest my all time favorite sex book The Guide to Getting It On published by Goofy Foot Press? Check this book out; trust me it’s a good start to understanding your body and your future partner(s).
  • Treat each person you date or have a long-term relationship with love, dignity, and respect. If for any reason the relationship doesn’t live up to a commitment of some sort — marriage, etc. — let the best thing said about you be, “That was one of the best relationships I ever had and I can’t say nary a bad thing about it.”
  • Talk to God about whether you should be sexually active or not. Yeah, you heard me don’t look at your screen like I just sucked you into the Matrix. If you want to be a grown up and show you can be responsible for your sex life, than take the time to talk to God and ask him if its okay to be intimate with the person you are with.

When the God of the universe wants to be involved in every aspect of your life most of us turn this part off. Why not turn it on? Test it and see what he says; you’ll be surprised of the outcome.

The big thing is to make is this: its up to you to decide without the guilt and fear dominating in your life. Between yourself and God, you get to take the next step in any relationship.

You are responsible for the birth control material; you are responsible for getting tested; you are in charge of how to prepare to enjoy your sexual life. With God’s help you can decide to be sexual active or hold yourself till you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life.

No pressure. No issues. No problem.

Let the celebration begin!


Related Articles

read more articles on Censorship & Sexual Repression