What Causes Irrational Fear Of Sex?

Sex is everywhere. Sex sells, right? You see sex on television, in movies and you hear it in music. It’s on billboards, in newspaper ads and all over the Internet. So logically, as a society, we don’t seem very afraid of sex, do we? Surprisingly enough, many people still have a deep seated, irrational fear of sex, masturbation and other sex related things. Why is this fear irrational, and what causes it? What can you do about it?

Sex And Psychology

The most complicated part of human psychology is sex. Sex involves so many things, including the body, the mind and even your emotions. What feels good physically doesn’t always feel good emotionally, and what feels good emotionally doesn’t always please you physically. It can be difficult to understand why someone may have a fear about sex or have a sex related phobia, because there are so many contributing factors to sex. In persons who haven’t been sexually abused, a fear of sex or a sex phobia can seem irrational. The human body and mind was created to enjoy and take pleasure from sex, and it’s one of the most natural things for two human beings to do together. What are some things that can cause an irrational fear of sex?

Painful Sex

Many people can experience pain during sex or masturbation. In women, small vaginas or lack of natural lubrication can make penetration extremely uncomfortable or painful. In some women, the clitoral hood doesn’t cover the clitoris completely, making most types of sexual contact painful instead of pleasurable. In men, a poorly done circumcision can leave too little skin on the penis, making an erection uncomfortable or painful when the skin stretches too taut. Penises also have stiff, fibrous muscles that when erect, can “break.” It’s rare, but rough masturbation or sex can “break” a penis, making sex or even erections painful if it’s not corrected immediately. Anyone that experiences pain during sex or masturbation can develop a fear of sex or sex related activities, depending on what causes them pain or discomfort.

Psychological Issues

Many people have an irrational fear of sex due to psychological factors. Some people have phobias of sex or masturbation because their parents brought them up in an overly religious environment, or they were taught to think sex is dirty. Believe it or not, many women are taught that enjoying sex is “wrong” and that sex is only something they must do as a wife when they get married. Many of these women don’t have orgasms and have very poor and unsatisfying sex lives, therefore, may avoid sex as much as they can in fear of it. Many men and women are brought up thinking that masturbation is wrong as well, even that it will give you hairy palms or cause blindness. Any type of skewed thinking about sexual pleasure that was ingrained on a person as a child can contribute to sexual fears and phobias in adulthood.

STD’s And Pregnancy

Some people avoid sex all together because they have deeply rooted fears of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. Perhaps someone in the family contracted AIDS or got pregnant, and the family criticized them or looked down upon them. Perhaps someone contracted a sexually transmitted disease or got pregnant and is terrified of it happening again. Fears of pregnancy and STD’s can play a large part in someone’s irrational phobias of sex.

What To Do

If you have a fear of sex or sex related activities, it’s important to see a doctor. What you’re experiencing, however, can determine which type of doctor you go see. If you’re having physical pain during sex, you should make an appointment with your general practitioner or family doctor. They can do a physical examination as well as take a detailed medical history to determine what exactly is causing the pain or contributing to it. If you’re having psychological issues with sex, consider seeing a therapist or a specialized sex therapist to help talk to you about your phobias, why you have them and how you can work your way through them.

Many people are afraid of seeing the doctor – regardless of which type – because having a sexual fear for whatever reason can seem embarrassing. Lots of things are embarrassing though, and you deserve to have a happy, healthy sex life. Find a doctor or therapist that you’re comfortable with, and take control of your sex life.


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