3 Steps To Female Sexual Arousal

Sex tips will only get you so far – if you don’t get how a woman is sexually aroused (it’s a whole process) then you’re going to crash and burn!

The Process Of Arousal

There’s a process to arousal, no matter if it’s with a man or a woman. Each step builds upon another, and without the ones that come before it, the next cannot occur. There’s a defined start, middle and end, with each item holding its own along the continuum. Each of the anatomical bits have a part to play in the process as well; some are small, others large, and yet others pop up at different times for different reasons. There is an ebb and flow of sorts to the process, where one thing slowly grows in importance and another falls away.

Step One: Foreplay

In the first part of female sexual response, foreplay is the main event, which propels a woman’s brain and body towards arousal. Some markers of this step are:

  • Hormones start flooding a woman’s system as soon sex enters her brain. If the process continues, she becomes “emotionally stoned” by one specific hormone, oxytocin, as one author by the name of Theresa Crenshaw, M.D., suggests in her book “The Alchemy of Love and Lust.”
  • Blood flow moves to focus more on the pelvic region of a woman’s body, and her genitals start to fill with blood. Some women you’ll be able to see the difference by looking at her vulva, as it’ll become darker the more excited and closer to orgasm she gets.
  • The skin is also an organ of the human body, and as such, it becomes more sensitized during this process.
  • Any breast play during this phase increases the oxytocin floating around in the bloodstream.
  • Both the nipples and breasts swell during this stage of the arousal process.
  • As more blood pumps through the vulva, the Bartholin’s Glands create thick lubrication to prepare for stimulation of the clitoris.
  • The Clitoral Head peeks out from underneath its Clitoral Hood.

Step Two: Climax

During this stage, the body tenses up, breathing gets shallower and faster, blood pressure rises, and the heart beats more quickly than during stage one. Also:

  • The vaginal opening gets smaller while internally it gets both wider and longer up to two inches difference
  • The clitoris body gets longer and firm, similar to how a penis stiffens
  • The G-Spot fills with blood and can easily be felt along the wall of the vagina
  • The Clitoral Head hides again as the ligament that holds it in place firms up; both parts will remain like this until climax occurs
  • Another ligament positioned along the uterus and ending at the Labia Minora tightens, thus involving the entire uterus during the sexual stimulation process

As sexual arousal continues, a woman:

  • Blushes along her face and chest
  • Breathes deeply
  • Increases her heart rate to a staggeringly quick beat; and
  • Has her Labia Minora flush with even more blood, until the whole area becomes dark purple.

Then, when she orgasms, all of this built up tension blows up during climax, where rhythmic contractions overtake her and then lessen in severity and speed as she releases.

Every second or so, the vaginal walls contract along with the pelvic floor muscles, and as the vaginal walls contract, the uterus also contracts because even more oxytocin is pumped into that general area. Each contraction provides a wave of pleasure, with some women ejaculating a small amount of clear fluid.

Step Three – Release

After the orgasmic event, a woman comes full circle to her normal, non-aroused status quo. This is where men and women differ the most strikingly during the arousal process. For the most part, men will lose their erections shortly after climax, and will enter into a stage of what researchers call the “refractory period” where they require a bit of down time before starting the circle again.

Also, women’s bodies don’t normally process oxytocin as a sleep-inducer (men do) their bodies aren’t extremely sensitive after orgasm (except for the Clitoral Head), and they can easily start the arousal process again without any waiting period.

The major difference between the genders with this downtime is that it leads to differing needs. Men want to roll over and sleep after sex, whereas women either want to go on and have multiple orgasms, or want to connect and snuggle before sleeping. Many a magazine articles written on the subject suggests a variety of tools to reduce the stress associated with these biological mandates, but in essence, the answer is simple: roll over and cuddle your partner as you fall asleep, and everyone is happy. It’s not asking either partner to stop what is natural to them, while still giving each what they need.

So, there’s female sexual arousal explained in a short, relatively simple manner, with a bit of comparison thrown in so you understand how it differs from a man’s.


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