Q&A: How To Find The Clitoris

The clitoris is known to be elusive to many men, however, finding it and stimulating it is one of the greatest pleasures you can give a girl. Many women aren’t even able to orgasm without clitoral stimulation! Here’s how to find the clitoris, how best to stimulate it and how you can avoid the #1 mistake guys make when they finally find it!

Question: Dear Dan and Jen – How do you find the clitoris? I want to play with my girlfriend, but I do not know where to find it and I don’t want to ask her cause it would make me look like a fool…please help!

–YouTube Viewer

Why The Clitoris Is Important

The clitoris is packed with thousands upon thousands of nerve endings that will send waves of pleasure throughout a woman’s entire body. The clitoris is the only human body part that was designed specifically for pleasure and pleasure alone! Even a man’s penis performes other functions, such as urination and procreation. The clitoris, however, does absolutely nothing except provide female orgasm when stimulated. It serves no other purpose! So it’s safe to say the clitoris is pretty darn important and well worth your time to become acquainted with it.

How To Find The Clitoris

The clitoris is located above the vaginal opening but below the pubic area. The visible area of the clitoris is a small “bud” like formation that gets bigger when a woman is aroused. The clitoris is actually way bigger than what you see on the outside and is hidden underneath the vaginal skin and muscles, but the most sensitive part is the actual “bud” above the vaginal opening. The clitoris is actually tucked underneath hood of skin called the “clitoral hood” and will peek itself out more as a woman becomes aroused. However, right before a woman reaches climax, the clitoris may suddenly shrink in size and go back underneath the hood. Don’t worry though, because if you stimulate the area where the clitoral hood is, you’re going to stimulate the clitoris as well and many women prefer this type of indirect stimulation.

The Best Way To Stimulate The Clitoris

The first rule of thumb when beginning to stimulate the clitoris is to go slow and soft! Many men make the mistake of getting excited once they find it and start pressing, rubbing, licking or sucking too hard at first. This can actually cause a woman discomfort and pain! Instead, start out soft and slow, and gradually build up pressure and speed as your partner becomes more and more aroused. You can also start out using your fingers our tongue on the hood of the clitoris to give your partner indirect clitoral stimulation to get her aroused and allow her clitoris to become engorged and “hard” before you start using any other moves or techniques. Many women will derive great pleasure from stimulating the clitoris from outside the clitoral hood, while mixing in a few strokes directly on the clitoris as well. There are many different techniques you can use to stimulate the clitoris, such as clitoral circles, however, no matter what technique you decide to use, make sure you don’t start off hard and fast.


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