Is It Wrong to be Jealous Of My Partner Watching Porn?

When a man watches porn, it is normal to feel jealous or insecure. This is actually a common issue among many women. It’s hard for a woman to get over the fact that her man is looking and perhaps thinking of another woman. It is hard for a woman to accept a man watching porn because traditionally, women are more emotional than visual.

Men prefer visual pornography while women find romance novels appealing, because it sets up a journey of love with rising passion and suspense. In short, a romance novel feeds that emotional desire that women have.  Men prefer pornography because it satisfies their need for visual stimulation.

Unfortunately, it’s difficult for a woman to understand a man’s perspective and that leads to jealousy and insecure feelings when it comes to pornography.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Do you have any advice on how to get over my jealousy? When I see my bf watching porn, I hate it! I figure it’s cheating ‘cause you’re imagining doing the other person. It’s so frustrating!

–(YouTube)

Why men like porn

Men are action oriented, that is, they like to see what is happening. Men enjoy seeing nudity and sexual acts visually, and that’s perfectly natural for them. It’s how they’re built. It is nothing more than a man’s fantasy and in isn’t quite the same as cheating.

If he were sleeping with the woman he was watching then it would be, but just for a man to envision a woman long enough to get his jollies isn’t the same. He isn’t thinking about running off with the woman that he’s watching, or thinking about how much better they are than the woman they’re actually with. It is just a momentary fantasy and it’s his way of releasing tension and relaxing. It doesn’t mean he is cheating because in the end he’s with you and he chose to be with you.

Getting over the jealousy of a man watching porn is as simple or as complex you want to make it.  The best thing is to just try and accept that men are visual creatures and watching porn is natural to them.  It’s not that he doesn’t love you, it’s just that it’s natural for him to want to see sexual acts and nudity visually because it helps to satisfy him.

It’s perfectly natural

Many times, a man will use porn to satisfy his immediate sexual desires when you are not around or when you’re asleep. This is perfectly normal and shouldn’t be considered cheating. If your partner chooses to use porn frequently to the point where your sex life as a couple is diminishing, it might be time to get some help from an unbiased counselor or sex therapist.

If your partner uses porn as a means to satisfy his sexual desires but your sex life is still healthy and strong, don’t worry about it! Relax and let it go. It can be difficult to do, but it’s possible and will help keep your relationship healthy and strong as well.

If your partner watches porn, it’s not considered cheating. It’s perfectly normal and natural, as it is for a woman to fantasize emotionally using romance novels or her own imagination. If your partner’s porn habits are bothering you, talk to him open and honestly about why it bothers you and what you both can do to reach a compromise.

You certainly can’t give him an ultimatum. That will only serve to anger him and cause him to watch porn without telling you. Perhaps you can watch porn together or find other ways to satisfy each other sexually while using porn. Work together to find a compromise that satisfies both you and your partner.


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