Is There A Place For Pornography In ANY Relationship?

It is one of the most thankless jobs in the world. Men and women sprawling on makeshift movie sets–indoors or outdoors, rain or shine–to bring the public what they want to see: Sex and nakedness on their local tube or computer screen.

Porn is a booming business

From posing naked bodies to oral sex to intercourse to orgasm the adult movie business, and industry is available to people around the world 24/7.

Be it in the privacy of a motel room, bedroom of a family, on a computer laptop, bought at an adult bookstore or shop, etc. the billion dollar business is enjoying its best business ever.

Do you admit to your partner that you watch porn?

Take the controversial poll at the end of this article to see where you fit in!

Objections to porn

Whatever you do, though, do not tell the feminists, government, or the church set. In a rare show of agreement, these three groups find many things offensive because of one reason or another.

Feminists feel women are objects and are devalued in power and purpose; in the past few years, the U.S. government is ever trying to make more regulation on the books making it harder for consenting adults; the church and moralist find tons wrong over issues ranging from the glorification of premarital sex to the promotion of gay / lesbian / bisexual / transgender “lifestyles”.

Each group has validated their points regarding the ills of pornography (according to their belief systems). I believe instead of taking the battle against the things most consenting adults enjoys we can focus the battle against issues 90% of adults can agree on (i.e. child pornography, child abuse, etc). Plus, I wish these groups would press the issue regarding the performers and their health (i.e. mandatory testing by studios of all performers).

Is porn getting a bad rap?

Now the first question we need to ask is if pornography is getting a bad rap or not? My answer for this one is yes! Many definitions can be made for pornography, but one I would like to use and stick with is this one:

Pornography: The art that captures the fantasies, desires, and dreams of the populace’s sexual lives. Its function is to stimulate, educate, and entice the viewer to visual ideas towards sexuality.

Can it be improved?

Instead of bashing the genre I think the genre needs improvement in how it presents the canvas. But how can this be done?

I will not lie to you that, trying to get a grasp this subject or a substantial majority of people saying they agree porn is not a problem is a stretch especially in religious circles. Even the members of Christ Pro Erotic are not totally sold on porn and if believers in Jesus can even view it. But a few things I’ve found regarding adult material and how we view it can be helpful and beneficial on both sides.

  • If viewing or purchasing pornography takes more of a priority than your family, finances, spouse/partner then you need to seek help or talk it over with you’re your mate. This kind of indulgence is harmful to a relationship and to a life when you are more preoccupied with it and replace a good live relationship with porn.
  • You will not find any “thou shalt not watch porn” in the Bible. Like all freedoms know what the pros and cons about viewing porn. Pray about it! Discuss with your partner what is acceptable with  enjoyment of pornography. Respect their views and boundaries and do not veer off regardless of their final decision. (See Romans 14: 13,14 for guidance).
  • Don’t expect to be Ron Jeremy or Jenna Jameson (the number one and two performers of all time according to Adult Video News Magazine) in the bedroom. Look, no one person can sustain as long as one scene in a movie. It’s a movie-remember one scene is shot in several takes. If you can please contact this website to tell us how it is done. Fantasy is one thing; reality is not as bad if you try to make each moment in the bedroom pleasurable and purposeful for both partners.
  • Those who object strongly to porn need to bring a better alternative to the table. If feminist feel strongly about women being treated as objects or then help find ways to turn the table. Write to the production studios, talk to directors, state your case with friends who enjoy porn, and even consider making porn with a respect towards women. Candida Royalle was in the business during the golden age of porn and decided to make erotic films from a female perspective. She has a great line of movies and other products empowering women in the bedroom and beyond.
  • This may be a hard one with the men, but if your mate is not into porn then respect her wishes. Value your relationship more than a your porn collection good man. She may have a good reason why she is not into porn as you are (self image, performance, looks, etc.) but value her input.
  • And please, PLEASE stop making your enjoyment of porn a “male only” issue. Involve your wife/spouse/partner into your enjoyment. You may be surprised what she enjoys and what turns her on.

Above all it is you, the consumer, who can send the message to the adult industry you want a more realistic vision of sexuality. It is also important to realize you do not have to be performing CirqueDuSolei in the bedroom, but just enjoy being intimate with your partner in the bedroom. All the images in the world (and the world wide web) could never bring to life that kind of enjoyment.

Other alternatives

There are other alternatives to bringing in hard core pornography into the relationship including soft core erotica, sexually instructive videos (check out Nina Hartley’s “How To” series), or written erotica can stimulate sexual images and fantasies without the silicone and moving body parts.

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