Q&A: How To Fantasize Without Sounding Like A Pervert

In a new sexual relationship, it can be nerve wracking to share your sexual fantasies, likes and dislikes with your new partner. Will they judge you? Will you sound like a pervert if you tell them what gets you turned on? Here’s how to share your fantasies with your partner – without making yourself look bad.

Question: My girlfriend keeps asking me what turns me on. How do I say something without sounding like a pervert?

–YouTube Viewer

Accept Your Fantasies

Everyone has something that turns them on sexually. Each person has a fantasy or fetish – and some people have more than one – and what turns someone on differs greatly from person to person. There are as many sexual fetishes, likes and dislikes in the world as there are people. What turns you on is part of what makes you sexually unique, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Unless your fetish is illegal – say, child pornography – having something special (or several somethings special) that gets you hot is perfectly normal. If you accept your fantasies and fetishes as part of yourself and aren’t embarrassed by them, you’re not going to sound like a pervert when you share them with your partner. You’re going to sound like a hot, confident guy who knows what he likes and what he wants. Her attitude about it greatly depends on your attitude about it.

When Your Partner Opens The Door

If your partner has asked you to share with them what turns you on, this is an open door that you want to take advantage of. Sure, coming right out and saying to your partner, “Hey, do you like to bite during sex?” might sound strange coming out of nowhere, but if your partner asks you what you like in the bedroom, don’t be too embarrassed to tell her. She’s let you know that she wants to share fantasies with you. This is a sign that she’s more open minded about sex than you think. Take advantage of the situation and talk about what you like and what she likes. You might find that what turns you on turns her on too and vice versa!

Make It Fun

Sharing your fantasies with your partner isn’t supposed to be nerve wracking, it’s supposed to be fun! Finding out about your partner’s fantasies and sharing yours with her is part of the fun of a new sexual relationship. If you’re still nervous about sharing what turns you on with her, try playing a fun sex game to loosen you up. Adam And Eve has a great game called Sex Is Fun, and involves fun questions about you and your partner’s fantasies. Popular sex advice magazine Cosmo has also come out with a Truth Or Dare game that lets you and your partner discover the truth about each other – and get turned on by the sexy dares. However you decide to share your fantasies and fetishes with your new partner, don’t be embarrassed or scared to do so. Make it fun and exciting instead, because it’s really not as big a deal as you think it is!


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