It appears I’m experiencing “the seven year itch.” I love my husband and all’s well at home – but I am bored in the bedroom. What’s the cure?
What She Said:
The cure is to get into the bedroom, pronto! Don’t delay. You have a lot of great things waiting for you as soon as you can break the boredom barrier. Some things that lie in store include a greater intimacy, a sense of play and lots of experimentation.
What you’re experiencing is completely normal, by the way. No couple can sustain the excitement and passion of the first months or years together. What comes in place of rip-your-clothes-off passion is a greater intimacy – physically, emotionally and spiritually. However, that doesn’t mean your love life has to grow stale.
Let’s start with the advantages of a greater physical intimacy. Chances are that you know each other’s bodies like the back of your own hand.
You know the likes and dislikes, as well as the things that get each other off. While this is great information to have, there’s a danger in making sex perfunctory in order to expedite the end result, so to speak. The first step towards renewed sexual satisfaction? Stop taking the short cuts! Reintroduce foreplay, anticipation, role-play and time into your lovemaking. Experiment with toys. Check new positions of your list. Get some rubber sheets and whip cream. Whatever you do, make it fun!
Long Term Relationships Allow You To Really Up The Ante
Other benefits to a long-term relationship include the aforementioned expanded emotional and spiritual connections that can only come with time. Work that angle! Communicate with your mate about the need to spice things up. Make it a positive adventure. Don’t forget to take spirituality into the bedroom.
A torrid roll in the hay can be a blast; but so can fully appreciating the magnitude of the person you’re with for the long haul. Look into each other’s eyes. Tell one another what you love and appreciate about your mate. Soon that tenderness will translate into reignited passion.
What He Said:
It’s not rocket science. You guys are in a pattern. You need to break it. It’s that simple. Just sit down and identify the ways you guys do it. It’s probably the same every time, so this won’t take you very long. Resolve to never have sex like that again for the next thirty days. Then sit down and make a list of the things you’d like to do to each other or that you used to do to each other but stopped doing. Each of the next 30 days do one of those things. You can do more than one if you like, but you can’t do less.
New Sex Positions Could Be Key
Buy a book on sex positions. Go on vacation. Or just do it in a hotel in town while you have a sitter.
It doesn’t have to be a big production, though that’s cool too. You just need to do things a bit different and do so in a pressure free manner. Your boring sex life didn’t happen overnight. It was a gradual process so getting back to the hot and nasty sex you had when you first started dating may take a bit of time and effort. It’s worth it.