Tantric sex refers to ‘Sacred Sex’ and can be a very powerful way to connect to your lover. In tantric sex, the terms “‘Yoni” and “Lingam” to refer to our nether regions.
“Yoni,” or Vagina, means “Sacred Place” and is said to be the source of Divine Female Sexual Power; “Lingham” or “Vajra” refers to the Penis and this term means “Wand of Light” and is said to represent Divine Male Sexual Energy and Consciousness.
The terms used in tantric sex are a far cry from the Western approach to using some not-so-pleasant terms to describe our nether regions. Partners are revered as a ‘Beloved’ and are to be valued, respected, nurtured and cared for.
Setting the Scene For Pleasure
Set the scene for your Tantric Night of Pleasure by taking the time to prepare a deliciously sensual environment. Put some thought into creating a warm, relaxing, and seductive space within which to begin your Tantric Yoni and Lingham massage, or His ‘N Hers Tantric Massage.
Your space should have:
A great location – make sure your space is warm and inviting
Soothing sounds — put on some relaxing and soothing music for a calm environment
Beautiful sights – as the Japanese saying goes, “The First Bite is With the Eyes.” Create a visually stunning atmosphere by decorating your space with colorful flowers or rose petals. You can also get together some cushions and place some meaningful or symbolic objects around the bed to represent a calm, safe and loving space.
Proper dress — dress yourself up and make an effort to look good for your partner. Make sure your personal hygiene is up to par, including brushing your teeth and smelling appealing. Make it sensual by taking a shower or bath together and remember that poor hygeine is one of the biggest turn offs in the bedroom.
Try to set some time aside for your Tantric Pleasure Experience as a way to honor your lover, develop skills, relax and focus the mind and spirit.
Massage your lover’s entire body for at least 30 minutes before starting your Intimate Tantric massage. By slowly charging up and circulating your sexual energy, the Yoni and Lingham will be more sensitive to your touch.
Massaging the Yoni
If you’re massaging your lover’s Yoni, start by resting one hand over the area and the other over her heart. Visualize energy from your heart flowing through your hands into her heart and Yoni.
This is a great way to balance emotions and to create a deeper connection between lovers. Lightly pour some warmed cold pressed, organic vegetable oils (sesame, almond, olive) over your hands and let the oil drip slowly over the Yoni and Clitoris.
Always start from the outside in. Start by teasing and caressing her outer lips, pubic mound, proceeding to the inner lips, and massage the opening of the vagina very gently. After at least 15-20 minutes of playful teasing, gently take the clitoris between your fingers and massage slowly (but not directly) around the sides and base.
Take Your Time
Remember you are building sensation and pleasure, so do not go straight for the kill. Take your time and layer the sensations.
If her excitement starts to build quickly, slow down and stop and encourage her to take a few slow and deep breaths.
Now you can gently insert one finger inside and massage along the inner wall. If she’s ready, insert 2 fingers and do the same. Always get feedback, and ask her what’s working best. Alternate by removing your hand from her Yoni and then massage her clitoris moving slowly toward the head. Give her at least 40 minutes of divine pleasure and feel her melt in your hands – literally!
For the Men
For your male lover, begin again by giving him a luxurious body massage for at least 30 minutes. Drip warm oil (vegetable, organic and cold pressed) over the Lingham or Penis, Scrotum and Perinuem (a small circular area between the Scrotum and Anus).
Gently massage up and down the shaft and very lightly at the head. Remember you are slowly building up a wonderful crescendo, so initially less is more. Massage the scrotum gently, all while getting feedback from him as to the pressure preferred.
The Perinuem is referred to as the ‘Sacred Spot’ by Tantrists and is great place to give him some incredible sensations. This is a very sensitive area, so apply only gently pressure using the tips of your finger in a circular motion for a few minutes at a time.
Increase the pressure of your strokes over and along the Lingham, and massage the head by twisting your hand in a left-right direction. If his sensations become too intense, stop and slow down, and encourage him to take some slow deep breaths.
(Do not use pure or diluted essential oils internally or near intimate areas and avoid oil based products – use only pure, organic vegetable oils such as olive or grape seed oils)
What is Tantra?
“Tantra” refers to the concept of ‘Expansion Through Awareness’ and by expansion we mean the opening of the mind and spirit, the deepening of the soul, the experience of pleasure and bliss and hopefully complete union with your lover and the cosmos.
Sexual energy is awakened through a variety of practices (tantric massage being one of them), channeled throughout your own body, between yourself and your lover, concentrated in the heart and directed to the Universe.
Sex therefore represents a movement of energy rather than a rush to the end, a masterful or stressful performance, or a sleeping aid at the end of a long and anxiety fueled day.
The slow, luxurious release approach of intimate tantric massage is always a welcome indulgence. So lavish the Yoni and Lingham with pure sensuality and divine love and attention.