Sex isn’t all about penetration. It’s a common misconception that you have to actually have intercourse to have awesome sex, but the truth is, you can actually have wonderful physical intimacy with your partner while not bumping uglies at all! There is so much more to doing it than just “penis-in-the-vagina” – in fact, there are so many more enjoyable ways to experience your partner sexually while avoiding intercourse! Here’s how.
Why Couples Would Want To Skip Traditional Intercourse
You might be wondering why anyone in their right mind would want to skip out on the sex part of sex. There are, however, lots of couples who either can’t or don’t want to have traditional intercourse with each other for various reasons. Some couples may want to avoid unwanted pregnancy by not engaging in penetration (if they’re not using condoms or birth control) and other couples may be avoiding penetration for religious, spiritual or moral reasons.
After childbirth, women are often cautioned not to have sex for six weeks afterwards, leaving them at a loss on how to please their partners when sex is not an option. Other couples may not be a great fit physically down there and will get more enjoyment out of foreplay than actual intercourse.
Oral sex is a great way to give your partner an amazing orgasm with no intercourse. Most people feel like oral sex is for foreplay only, but why not make it the main event? It is that great, after all! Take turns pleasuring your lover with your tongue and letting them do the same for you, or try the sixty-nine position and give each other simultaneous oral sex. You may not think it’s possible to feel completely satisfied after having only oral sex with your partner and forgoing intercourse, but the truth is, you might even have a better and more satisfying orgasm this way than through intercourse alone. Your partner will too!
If oral sex isn’t your thing or you’re just not ready to go there with your partner yet, think about masturbation. Not the flying solo kind, but the masturbating your partner with your hands kind. This is better known as fingering (if they’re a girl) and giving a handjob (if they’re a guy). Lots of people avoid this type of stimulation when they’re getting it on with their lovers because they feel like that manual stimulation is actually boring – especially since this is the kind of stimulation you get all the time when you masturbate alone.
However, you can give your partner amazing orgasms through manual stimulation! All it takes is time, a little hard work and lots and lots of great lube. Most people who don’t enjoy getting a handjob from their partner have forgotten that crucial component – lots of lube!
If you’re not going to have intercourse with your partner, why not bring in some fun sex toys to play with instead? If she can handle penetration but just not with a penis (for example, if she’s trying not to get pregnant), try using a dildo or a vibrator. If penetration of any kind is out of the question, a clitoris vibrator can definitely come into play. This is a great way to give a woman an orgasm when avoiding intercourse, especially if oral sex or fingering isn’t your thing. Instead of letting her take care of herself with the vibrator (which a lot of guys do when they can’t do it with their ladies), take care of it for her and get off on her pleasure.
For the men, sex toys can also be beneficial when you can’t or don’t want to do it the traditional way. Male masturbators (also known as masturbation sleeves) can make giving him a handjob a lot easier, especially when you use plenty of lube. In fact, it will probably feel better for him too!
If you’re avoiding sexual activity all together for whatever reason, don’t forget that you can stay physically intimate and close to your partner through kissing. Don’t just assume that the quick kiss you gave your lover before work will suffice – if you’re not having sex, take some time to have a really great and satisfying make out session with your partner.
Kiss your lover deeply and slowly, with no regard to how much time you have or what is going to come next. Simply enjoy the kissing experience for what it is and encourage your partner to do the same. When done right, kissing can be an extremely satisfying way to stay physically connected to your lover when you can’t get it on!