After you have a baby, sex definitely isn’t the same anymore, at least not for awhile. Not only does your body look and feel a little different, there are lots of new things going on in your life too. It’s normal to feel differently towards sex than you did before you gave birth. After feeding, rocking, soothing and burping a new baby all day, honestly, you’re a little touched out. Sex with your partner is probably the last thing on your mind. You may not feel like having sex, but you definitely want to want it. Here’s how you can make sex better after having a baby.
Wait Until Your Doctor Clears You For Sex
You may think you need to get back in the sex game right away, or you may be receiving pressure from your partner to have sex soon after you have the baby. Your partner may pressure you to have sex more so if you didn’t feel much like having sex when you were pregnant. However, there are some rules that you need to follow after having a baby to allow your body to heal and get back to it’s normal, pre-baby state. Waiting to have sex until six to eight weeks after the birth is one of those rules and one that your partner needs to respect. Your doctor will let you know when it’s ok for you to resume a normal sex life, which is usually about six weeks after a vaginal birth and eight weeks after a ceserean section. If you don’t wait the required amount of time, sex may be uncomfortable or painful and you can do much more harm than good. Enjoy your time off from sex and focus on yourself.
Go Get Your Hair Done!
Or go get your nails done, or get a massage or go on a shopping trip once you’ve lost the baby weight. Most women feel pretty un-sexy after they have a baby and as a result, don’t want or desire sex as much as they did when they felt better about themselves. In fact, you probably haven’t felt like yourself in almost a year, with the baby inhabiting your body for the better part of a year before you even gave birth. So take some time to make yourself feel like you again, whether it’s visiting the beauty salon or an all girls shopping trip (preferably while he’s watching the baby). Do something a little differnet like giving your hair color a daring boost or buying a new bra and panties set that is slightly more racy than what you usually get. You may feel guilty for leaving the baby for a few hours or doing something entirely for yourself, but don’t! Taking care of yourself will help you feel sexier and more like your former bedroom vixen self.
Go Ahead And Have Sex – Even If You’re Not Into It
If you’ve been cleared by your doctor to have sex but still haven’t really gotten in the mood for it, go ahead and have sex with your partner anyways. Even if you’re tired or you’re absolutely sure you’re not going to be able to have an orgasm, settle down in between the sheets with your partner for a little nookie. But don’t be tempted to just give into having a quickie with him! Start by giving your partner a blowjob, or have him give you oral sex. Or try sixty-nining! The key to turning blah sex into good sex is lots and lots of foreplay for both you and your partner rather than just letting him do his thing. As you and your partner get it on, you’ll find that you start to get into it, even though you really weren’t planning on it!
Remember That You Are Still A Sexual Being
Even though you’ve had a baby and you feel more like a milk machine than a sexy woman, it’s important to remember that you’re still a sexual being capable of giving and receiving pleasure. You’re still the same person that you were before you had a baby, and you can have as good sex with your partner as you used to have, if not even better! Even if you don’t feel like you’re super sexy right now, make an effort to walk the walk and talk the talk. If you take the time to make yourself look good and feel good, you’ll eventually start to feel more like your normal self and feel sexy for real.