Having sex on the first meeting can really screw things up for you. But is it possible to put having sex behind you and start over? You... continue reading
Having sex on the first meeting can really screw things up for you. But is it possible to put having sex behind you and start over?
You messed up. You had too much wine, the lighting was just right or you gave into primal urges that you know you shouldn’t have. Now you’re looking for you panties as he’s making coffee in the other room. You really like this guy, but having sex with him on the first meeting was never supposed to be in the cards. The worst part is that you think you might have a future with him and you don’t want him to think that you’re the kind of girl that gives it up willy-nilly. Even though the relationship has gotten off to a sexualized start, you can recover. Here is a guide on how to recover after having sex with him on the first date.
Understand The Situation
You slept with him but that doesn’t mean that he’s your boyfriend. This also doesn’t mean that you’re his girlfriend. Understanding the relationship took a turn gives you perspective. Yes, most of the mystery was lost when you slept with him, but this doesn’t mean that you can’t have a meaningful relationship. Knowing that having sex with him on the first date doesn’t define the relationship is the first step in recovering from this misstep.
Don’t Return Texts
More than likely, the guy is going to feel guilty about having sex with you on first date. If the guy is truly interested in pursuing a relationship, wait for him to call. If he sends a text, shoot him one back that says “Give me a call when you get a second. Thanks!” or something similar. Guys that were only interested in having sex will text you with expectations. Guys that want to move past the mistake of getting physical too early will want to take you out on a proper date. Proper dates require real communication. Phone calls are real communication. The only exception is if he is truly busy and he sends you a text from work asking you to have dinner with him.
Second Time Around
So, you went on the first date and we know how that turned out. What about the second date? The second date is going to be the real date. This is a test of how you can handle the fact that you have already been together but don’t really know each other. One of the best things to do is talk about the fact that you did sleep together. Don’t make excuses or you could make him feel inadequate or unworthy. For instance, if you say “ Listen, I had a lot to drink the other night” or something similar, he might think that you used him for sex. You might even get him thinking that you think he used you for sex. Just say, “I don’t want what happened the other night to ruin what we might have.” This tells him that you are open to the idea of a relationship, but it’s business as usual from here on out.
Make Him Wait
You had sex on the first date, but that doesn’t mean that you’re going to give it up again. Make him wait and earn sex again. Having sex with him again on the second date could lead to expectation. If he asks you to come over to his house after the date, politely tell him that you don’t think that’s a good idea. He should agree. If he presses the issue, he might only be in it for the sex and you should tread lightly. Once a guy has had sex with you, he might lose interest. This is common, which is the reason that you should never have sex on the first date. If the guy does press the issue, he sees you as a way to get laid and his interest in a serious relationship has faded. Move on. Once a guy sees you in this light it’s going to be very difficult to bring him back. Decline the request and make him wait for at least 2 more dates before you sleep with him again.
Having sex with a guy on the first date is a horrible idea that usually ends badly. If you do slip up and give into the temptations of the flesh, there are a few ways that you can steer the relationship back to where it needs to be. By knowing how to handle the situation, you might be able to understand the situation and get your guy to accept the fact that you both faltered. Always remember that you are in control of the situation and if the guy isn’t up for a real relationship, you will move on.