Sex and reaching orgasm usually take longer for girls, but what happens when SHE’S the one going too fast? Usually, it’s the guy that reaches climax before the girl, but it’s not unheard of for a girl to actually reach orgasm before the man. One reason could be that she’s faking it – or, she could just be super sensitive. If it only lasts a few minutes long, it’s time for her to learn how to last longer in bed!
Dear Dan and Jenn – I am a guy and my girlfriend and I are having sex. She can only have enjoyably have sex for about 5 to 10 minutes then have only one orgasm. She can tolerate sex for 20 minutes. I have lasted about 30 to 40 minutes in the past. What can I do to help be able to help her last longer during sex, or do I need to learn to last shorter?
Are You Using Enough Lube?
Sex for long periods of time can be very uncomfortable or painful for a woman if she’s not lubed up enough. Even if she’s had an orgasm, she may still not be wet enough to continue having sex with you as long as you need to reach your own climax. There’s a simple solution – use more lube! If you’re not using any at all, it’s time to invest in a nice, big bottle of water based lube that is both sex toy and condom compatible. A lot of guys are afraid to use lube, or think that if they do it means they’re not good enough at it, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Enough lube makes intercourse better and helps it to last longer – period.
She Might Just Really Be Satisfied
There’s a lot of pressure on guys to be able to give women multiple orgasms, but the truth is, many girls can be satisfied with just one. This is especially true if the one orgasm she had was amazing and completely rocked her world. If it was that good, she may be too tired to continue having sex and much, much to sensitive to receive more stimulation and try to have another orgasm.
Is She Faking It?
Another possibility to look at if your girl just doesn’t go for the long haul during intercourse is she might be faking her orgasm. If you’re only able to have sex for ten or twenty minutes and she has an “orgasm” and is done, she may be trying to get it over with as fast as possible. Girls usually take longer to warm up during foreplay and longer to orgasm, so it’s really the exception rather than the norm if she’s truly had an orgasm and is truly satisfied after just a few minutes of sex.
If she is faking it, think about why. Are you failing to really please her? Are your efforts at giving her an orgasm falling short and she just wants fake it and get it over with, since she’s not getting anything out of it? This is the most common reason that girls fake their orgasms – their guys just aren’t doing it for them and they either don’t have the heart to tell them they’re not getting it right or their guys are too stubborn to listen. If you suspect that she’s faking it, communicate with her. Ask your partner what you’re doing wrong or what you could be doing better. Work with her on getting her to a place where she doesn’t feel like she has to fake it.
Teaching Her To Have Multiple Orgasms
If you sense that her orgasm is genuine and that she really is satisfied with just one, teach her that she doesn’t have to be. Extend your foreplay sessions and get her really, really warmed up. Take the time to focus on her pleasure, even before you start getting it on. Give your partner an orgasm through oral sex first, before you even penetrate with your penis.
Women are actually designed to have more than one orgasm, because they simply don’t go back down to square one after climax like a man does. They hang out in the mid-arousal stage, so they don’t have as far to go to reach climax again. Take advantage of this by focusing on your partner and her pleasure, without thinking of yourself. Give your partner a night where it’s all about her and see just how many orgasms she has!