Sex with your girl can be super fun – or it can be super scary for her if you aren’t careful to keep things from going too far. It may seem like common sense to stay away from anal sex or rape fantasies the first several times you have sex with a girl, but you’d be surprised at what guys will try without thinking about how a girl will react to it. While some chicks dig a little BDSM in the bedroom, there are a few things that you’ll want to avoid if you don’t want to scare her away for good.
Scary Looking Sex Toys
Some sex toys are fine to use with a woman you haven’t been with for very long, such as slender or bullet style vibrators, lubes and feather ticklers. These are fairly benign and probably won’t freak a girl out or offend her, even if she’s never used sex toys before. What a girl doesn’t want to see in your bedroom are huge dildos, anal beads or whips. Large contraptions that look like they could service several people at once will definitely scare your girl off. Until you really get to know her and talk to her about what sex toys she likes, keep the scary stuff in the drawer of your nightstand.
It’s true – some girls have rape fantasies. Granted, they are few and far between but there are women out there who enjoy the idea of forced sex. However, these women are generally only comfortable having fun with their fantasies with someone they know well, trust a lot and have been with for a long time. Don’t assume that any girl will enjoy forced sex, because it’s much more likely that she won’t – and she may assume that you’re really trying to date rape her. At best, your partner is going to be scared away – and at worst, you may face rape charges.
Dirty Talk That Goes Too Far
Most girls like to know that they’re pleasing the guy they’re with. That means, don’t be shy on the sexy moans, noises and gasps that let her know you’re really into what she’s doing. Even a little dirty talk can be acceptable for many women, if you’re telling her what a good job she’s doing sending you over the edge to orgasm. What is not okay when it comes to dirty talk is when you call her names (such as “bitch” or “slut”) or when you talk about doing really strange or scary things (such as wanting to pretend she’s your sister or that she’s an animal).
Anal Sex – If She’s Not Expecting It
While a lot of girls are into anal sex and anal play, it’s definitely a line you don’t want to cross until you talk to the girl you’re with about how she feels about anal sex. Some guys think that it’s hotter if they surprise a girl with a finger up her bum, but in truth, it will probably just freak her out and may make her want to stop having sex with you all together. If you really want to try anal sex with a girl, wait until you’ve done it with her several times and talk to her about it beforehand.
Hitting Or Choking Her
It is almost never acceptable to hit or choke a woman during sex. Light slapping is sometimes okay if you get permission first, but actual hitting is something just about every girl is going to find absolutely detestable. The same goes for choking – erotic asphyxiation is dangerous and will definitely scare your woman and possibly hurt her if she’s not expecting it. Hitting and choking are just two things that need to be kept off limits for you and your partner’s safety.
Fetish Play That You Haven’t Talked About First
While pretty much everyone has a fetish of some kind or another, some people find other fetishes (ones beside their own) very strange and weird. Don’t break out your fetish supplies until you’ve discussed them with your partner, and definitely don’t spring them on her without asking her permission first. Avoid dirty talk about your fetish, and keep it under wraps until you’ve been with her several times and have gotten to know her well. For her to want to try a fetish with you, she’ll need to trust you and feel very comfortable around you sexually. It usually takes a while for girls to warm up to guys this way, so cool your heels on introducing her to your fetish for awhile.