Sex tips will guide you in the right direction, but you also want to make sure you’re not actively ruining your own sex life as well. Are you ruining your sex life? Even the best lovers are often guilty of flubbing up in the bedroom, often WITHOUT ever knowing it.
It’s just a fact of life.
But that doesn’t mean that YOU have to be! Discover the most common issues men have in the bedroom – and what to do INSTEAD to drive your woman WILD with pleasure. Avoid these 10 sex life ruiners and you’ll have better sex the very NEXT time you make love, guaranteed!
Thinking She is Climaxing When She Isn’t
You may think that your lover is having “multiples” (or even ONE you-know-what) when she is not. She may make a bunch of noises and even TELL YOU it’s happening. But is she really?
Grab a Cosmopolitan sometime and look at how many articles and comments on “faking it.” I’m not saying that YOUR GIRL is faking it EVERY TIME but chances are there have been a few episodes of lovemaking where she was CRAVING something other than what you were doing.
When this happens women just want it to be over and encourage you to finish. It doesn’t mean you are awful in the bedroom; just that being a mind-blowing lover EVERY TIME takes some specialized knowledge.
If you are giving your girl the “Big O” (and absolutely 100% sure of it) then congratulations! You’re one of the few guys who is ACTUALLY pleasing a woman REALLY WELL. But if you’re not, it is crucial that you learn how!
Not Giving Her A Variety Of Sexual Experiences
A lot of guys who are new to lovemaking – or are used to doing it with the same woman – tend to forget that women want different KINDS of sensual EXPERIENCES. You might think that changing sex positions a few times and varying the speed of your thrusting IS a mixing it up. But it is not.
Women thrive on emotions. Sometimes they want to be taken, sometimes they want it hard, and sometimes they want to make love. If you are NOT talking during lovemaking and creating a strong emotional experience for her, she CAN’T be totally fulfilled. Women want and NEED strong emotional experiences in the bedroom.
Let’s look at an example. Women love bad boys because of the emotions that a bad boy inspires in them. This is why that when a women cheats, it is often with a “bad boy.”
However, you don’t need to be bad boy to create bad boy emotions within her in the bedroom. Just be a bad boy yourself by giving her a light spanking, talking dirty, and giving it to her good! Women also love very suave, romantic types. Think of the cheesy paperback romance novels they read with Fabio on the cover. This is not a myth – women REALLY read this stuff!
Now, I’m not saying you should grow long hair, huge man boobs, and start riding a horse, but what you can do is mix up your lovemaking with some romantic sessions in which you are telling your girl how beautiful she is to you and how much you love her.
You NEED to give your lover a variety of sexual experiences – and YOU are capable of giving her each kind – but you have to mix it up!
Forgetting To Be A MAN
Ask any 100 women off of the street and 99 of them will tell you that they want a man that TAKES CONTROL. That’s right, we want YOU to call the shots! As long as you are respectful, your girl DOES want you to take control in the bedroom, to flip her around and switch positions without asking, and to do what YOU want!
Women are programmed to respond to strong, authoritative, confident men. It signifies that you are a protector, a leader, and a suitable mate. Sure, it’s okay to ask her if she is enjoying something, but keep it simple. Save the talk about actual positions she liked for AFTER you are done.
Now don’t get me wrong – you are not making her a slave here, but rather leading with authority and masculine strength.
Once you start doing this you will be able to do many things with her in the bedroom that she earlier would not do. Many guys often think a woman is just uptight if she doesn’t want to do something, when in reality she just needs you to be a man and guide her with strength and confidence. You’ll be amazed at just how powerfully she responds!
Thinking Sex Isn’t That Important To Her
If you want to know how much women LOVE sex, just think about how loudly we scream during lovemaking! You won’t ever hear a guy screaming like that! You might THINK that your drive is much higher than your woman’s because YOU are usually the one initiating sex with her. But as hard as it is to accept, recognize that if your girl doesn’t want to make love, it is NOT always because she doesn’t want to.
Unfortunately, it’s probably because you just aren’t getting her off. Fortunately this can be an easy fix.
Being Silent/Emotionless During Sex
You may think that it is “cheesy” or “creepy” to talk romantically during sex. (you may think its weird to talk at all in the bedroom) However, women HATE silent, mechanical lovemaking.
I’ll say it again: We women THRIVE on emotion. Dirty talk or romantic talk are EXCELLENT ways to give your girl STRONG EMOTIONS during sex. And strong emotions = strong orgasms. Never think that it is solely your physical parts or motions you are making that give your girl the most pleasure. The most POWERFUL “BIG O” will always be triggered by our MINDS, not by our physical bodies.
Unlock her mind through dirty talk, romantic talk, and emotional talk WHILE having making love, and she will experience the most intense pleasure of her life!
Trading Dinners/Flowers/Etc. To Get Sex From Her
Many men mistakenly think that we women aren’t interested in making love (we already discussed how this is incorrect thinking), and that they have to “trade something” with her to get her to want intimacy. This is why you see so many guys trying to “get there” with their girl by first taking her out to a nice dinner or buying her gifts.
While doing nice things for your girl is awesome, it should NEVER be with the intention of GETTING SOME. When you have to trade something to get intimacy from your girl, realize that this is PROOF you are just not truly satisfying her in the bedroom.
When you are intimately satisfying your girl you will not have to trade ANYTHING for it, but she will often spontaneously text you sexy messages, buy YOU a small gift, or begin initiating lovemaking constantly. Just wait and see!
Not Giving Her Enough “Foreplay”
If you still think of “foreplay” as the activity before lovemaking, well then you are thinking of it WRONG! Here’s a hint: Women consider foreplay as PART of the lovemaking. NOT as a separate thing!
While a man is not always capable of having a “Big O” during foreplay AND then another “Big O” during the actual lovemaking, WOMEN CAN! Imagine if YOU could have one during foreplay AND not lose any firmness and keep having them well into lovemaking. You’d want to spend A LOT of time in foreplay too, right?
Well, your girl CAN have foreplay “O’s” AND penetration “O’s” so she DOES want to spend a lot of time in foreplay. As she should!
As a rule of thumb, spend at least the same amount of time on foreplay as lovemaking and you can always spend EVEN MORE time in foreplay. You can never get her too turned on and it will only make the lovemaking better when you are finally inside of her.
Not Lasting Long Enough
This mistake is well known and very simple, but no list of problems in the bedroom would be complete without it. But while all guys know they need to last long, they don’t necessarily know HOW LONG that is!
Well, after talking to dozens of my girlfriends about the subject, I’ve discovered that we all think pretty much alike. If you can last at least 20 minutes, most women will be SUPER happy with that!
Mistaking Her Moody-ness For NORMAL Behavior
It’s no secret that we women can be a LOT moodier than you men. But if you’re in a relationship with a woman and she seems to keep getting more and more moody over time, this is often because she isn’t getting what she needs in the bedroom. FACT.
As we talked about before, while women aren’t usually as sexually aggressive as men, we do love and NEED to make love just as much! But here’s the thing – if you’re not giving her the “Big O” – then lovemaking does her no good!
Can you imagine if when you were masturbating you could NEVER “get there”? You’d begin to enjoy it less and less each time. Eventually you’d get so frustrated by the inability to “finish” that it would just be easier to avoid it COMPLETELY! So if you can’t give her the “Big O” why WOULD she want to make love with you?
If your girl is not wanting to make love with you as much as you want then this is EXACTLY what has happened for her. In the beginning, she may have tolerated it because she was really into you. Now that you have been together for a long time and lovemaking isn’t satisfying for her, it is more fulfilling for her to take care of HERSELF when you’re not around. This leads to only being with you on special occasions, or when she feels obligated (like if a guy bought her a fancy dinner or some sort of gift.)
If you recognize any of these signs, it’s time to step up your game NOW before the drought gets even worse.
And when you do, you’ll discover that when you are completely rocking her world in the bedroom, not only is she in a better mood on a day-to-day basis, but SHE’LL start initiating making love with YOU! If you are giving her the best of her life, she won’t care if you are homeless and living in a cardboard box – as long as you can make love in it!
If your girlfriend or wife is often starting arguments, not wanting intimacy, or acting “distant” in some way, it’s time to stop blaming her. Re-examine your ability because the real culprit is inadequate lovemaking pleasure.
Not Getting Help
Top performers in any aspect of life realize that MASTERY is a journey, not a destination. Top athletes don’t all-of-a-sudden stop practicing. CEO’s don’t suddenly neglect their businesses and expect it to keep growing. And guess what lovemaking is no different.
To be an amazing lover you can’t ever be blinded by arrogance. Never think that you know EVERYTHING. You may know A LOT but there are ALWAYS new sex tips or tricks to get you to the next level.