Sex toys are great for solo play, but can they make things better with your partner? Find out now! Should I bring sex toys into our... continue reading
Sex toys are great for solo play, but can they make things better with your partner? Find out now!
Should I bring sex toys into our bedroom? I’m looking to spice up my sex life with my man, but I’m not sure how he’ll respond. I really want to try them. How do I work them in? (No pun intended.)
What She Said:
I’m going to cut right to the chase – Yes! Sex toys can add a new level of satisfaction for both you and your mate. There’s no shame in making them a part of your lovemaking.
Talk to your man first before introducing the toys of your (and his!) choice. Make sure the conversation takes place in a neutral zone – say the living room instead of the bedroom. It sounds like you’re slightly nervous about his response, so surprising him with a dildo between the sheets is definitely not the way to go!
It’s important to place emphasis on the positive. This is not personal. Let him know you love having sex with him and enjoy his lovemaking techniques. You don’t want to make him feel defensive or inadequate.
After you’ve established that you’re happy in the bedroom, let him know you’d like to add even more to the joy you two share. Have a catalogue (or website) marked with some ideas of things you’d like to try. Odds are he’ll be thrilled to help you explore. After all, the more aroused you are, the better it is for him too! Loving partners are usually open to growing and sharing – I have no doubt this will be the case here as well.
The final step is to go shopping together – either to your local sex store or online (Adam & Eve is great AND you can use Dan & Jennifer’s special offer code for 50% OFF almost any item and FREE shipping – offer code is DANJENN) and pick out your new pleasure seekers. Run home, wash ‘em off and go have fun!
What He Said:
Yeah, sex toys can help, If you can handle them. Not everyone is into that kind of thing. Many people are pretty vanilla out there. But everyone can get a little bit wilder, all they need is a little bit of encouragement. Just a gentle nudge in the right direction.
How Does Your Partner Feel About Sex Toys?
Notice I didn’t say a push or shove. This can’t just be your idea. This has to be his idea too. Get his input on the idea and see how he feels about certain toys and most importantly, try and find out what his specific turn ons or turn offs are and more importantly, why. Maybe he had a bad experience with a previous partner. Maybe he’s afraid he won’t be enough for you. Maybe he’s open to using them, but not shopping for them in public. Whatever the issue it can be overcome, but you have to find out what it is first.
After you do that, be very open to trying these things and be curious and non judgmental. Don’t be too attached to any one outcome. You’ll find one or more toys that you both will like, but it might take a little time to do so. And make sure to only nudge, never push.