Virgin Swingers – Am I A BAD Person If I Want to Have Sex with Our Friends?

Some couples have a truly amazing, exotic sex life that’s enough to make most anyone jealous.

But there’s more to a great sex life than endless sexual adventures and erotic games.

It’s not even about those amazing mind-shattering orgasms that many have heard about, but few have ever experienced.

The real secret lies in really playing together and being completely open with your lover, your playmate, your partner in crime. Open up and share your fantasies, and indulge your partner in theirs. That’s the well kept secret of those with the truly incredible sex lives.

Here’s a question from a woman who would love to enhance her and her husband’s sex life by having sex with some of their friends, but she’s terribly afraid of what others will think of her…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi this is a tough question for me because we were asked to do something with some friends of ours that I thought I would never do. They asked us to have sex with them!

Is it possible to have sex with this couple and still remain friends with each other? We do a lot together and I can see the sexual tension between all of us. We want to do it but we are not sure how to start it.

There are also kids. I don’t want to do anything with the kids around is that a smart idea. I really want to do this but I am nervous and scared and don’t know what to do. We all know that we love our spouses and that sex is as far as it will go.

Am I a bad person for wanting to have sex with someone else other than my husband? He is the only one I have had sex with. I have a lot of mixed emotions about this and I need some advice. We are all really good friends and don’t want to ruin our friendship either please help me. What should I do?

– Heather, Iowa

So… How About a Threesome? Or Maybe Even Swinging?

In expanding their sex lives, many couples come across that point where they consider a threesome – or even consider inviting another couple into their bedroom. Gasp!

Sure, bringing another woman into their bed is possibly the most popular male fantasy of all time. But finding that ever elusive single girl that likes to play with couples in her spare time is more challenging than some might think.

Fact is, most single girls like to go out and have sex with single men – not with couples.

Of course there’s a lot of social stigmas around “swinging”, but the reality today is very different. Rather than the old “wife swapping” lifestyle of decades past, some couples today choose to try new things to spice up their sex life, and this new thing may or may not include playing with other singles or couples.

This is not about “swinger groupies” – people who don’t care about much other than having sex with others in large orgies, and hanging out at swinger lifestyle conventions. It’s about a couple experimenting and trying a new thing or another to add more spice to their sex life. THAT’S IT!

What’s truly amazing is that for something with such stigma, over 20 million Americans engage in sex multiple partners, together with their spouses. And the most popular adult personals site shows a consistent number in each state, regardless of religious or political stereotypes.

Are you a bad person if you WANT to have sex with your friends?

Think back… maybe back to your college days. Have you ever had one of those late nights hanging out with some friends, another couple? You know the feeling… you’ve all had a little too much to drink, and card games are starting to become a contact sport. You look around the room and everyone’s feeling the excitement, the sexual tension.

And while you’re pretty excited to cross a boundary here, you’re terrified. Are you suddenly a bad person? Are you taking advantage of your friends? Are they taking advantage of you? Is it cheating to be even having those thoughts? Are you asking way too many questions for the amount of alcohol you’ve consumed?

Is It Cheating to Have Sex with Someone Other Than Your Partner?

That certainly depends on how you define cheating. It’s kind of hard for you two to be cheating on each other while you’re BOTH enjoying something together, isn’t it?

Cheating is a breaking of the sacred trust in your relationship. Cheating is being dishonest and going behind your partners back. When you’re both enjoying a fun, new adventure together, that’s not what we’d call cheating.

But BEWARE. While it’s not technically cheating, there are a few things that could go very wrong if you’re not careful.

You MUST have excellent and very open communication, and a great, solid relationship to start with, or this could tear your relationship apart. Swinging, or the broader concept of an “open relationship” is definitely not a crutch to fix, or patch, a failing relationship. It can only work for a couple whose relationship is steady and strong enough to withstand the emotional torrent that could be unleashed when you bring new people into your intimate relationship.

And as with regular sex between single partners, be very sure to practice safe sex, and know your playmates before you get too personal. Play it safe so you can have more fun.

What Will Your Friends and Family Say? How About Your Minister?

It doesn’t matter! Not at all. It is simply not any of their business, whatsoever. Period.

Some people make the tragic mistake of involving their family in their sex lies. This is a bad idea and will lead to arguments in all but the best of situations.

While it’s not always the case, in general, as a society we’re just not yet evolved enough to handle this type of discussion at the dinner table – largely because of the silly but amazingly widespread taboo around all things sexual in our culture.

So make your decision together with your partner, and go with what feels right to the two of you. While your family and friends may think they have your best interest at heart, they are not living your life – you are! Do what feels right to you.


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