Threesomes As An Alternative Approach to Marriage Therapy?

Many times, after about six or seven years of a relationship or marriage, the sex life tends to dwindle.

As time goes on, the sex life continues to dwindle and sex with your partner becomes routine.

Your interest in sex with your partner may lessen, but this doesn’t mean that you love your partner less or your relationship is doomed. It just means your relationship has progressed naturally!

Can having a threesome bring the spice back into your partnership?

You had mentioned the other day that some therapists actually recommend bringing

a third person into the bedroom to spice up your sex life. Please explain…

Threesomes aren’t for everyone.

It’s true. Bringing another person or another couple into your sex lives can be fun and enjoyable and ramp up your sex lives. It’s also true that having a threesome or swinging isn’t for every couple. Only you and your partner can decide whether incorporating other people into your sex lives is the right choice for you. How do you know?

  • You and your partner are happy with each other in every other aspect of your relationship
  • You and your partner aren’t the jealous type
  • You are secure in your relationship with this person and have no self esteem issues
  • You and your partner have talked the situation over . . . and over, and over and over.

After talking to your partner about having a threesome or swinging, if you feel it’s the right decision, go for it! Work out who you think the third person or couple should be and talk to them. Go over what you feel is right and what you’re comfortable with and what actions are considered out of bounds.  Then have fun!

Playing it safe.

When you’re in a monogamous relationship, you generally don’t have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases. If you’ve been in a relationship for quite awhile, it can be difficult to remember safety when making the switch to incorporating sex with another person or couple.

If you are going to have sexual relations with another person, it’s important to take safety precautions so you can keep both you and your partner free of sexually transmitted diseases. Getting tested is the only sure way to make sure neither party has any STD’s but if that’s not an option; you can use other methods as well.

Use condoms when having oral sex or intercourse and use dental dams when performing oral sex on a woman.  To be extra safe, you can even use latex gloves or finger cots if you plan to be using your hands at all.

Having a threesome or incorporating another couple into your sex life isn’t something everyone should do. It’s a decision that must be made carefully by all parties that will be involved. The most important thing you can do other than being safe is to talk to your partner and talk to everyone that is going to be involved.

Make sure everyone is comfortable with the situation and make sure the boundaries are clear and known by everyone. If you’re not comfortable having a threesome or swinging, it doesn’t mean your sex life is doomed forever. You can incorporate lots of other new things, such as sex toys or role-playing. Find out what turns you and your partner on and have at it, as long as no one is getting hurt (too much!)


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