Some partners are possessive, while others don’t even ask where you were all night. And when it comes to independence, it can be maddening if the two of you don’t have a good fit. You may want your main squeeze to be with you all the time, while your honey bristles at being under a tight leash.
It’s frustrating when your needs are so out of line with another’s.
Fortunately, astrology can lend some insight into the desire for freedom versus security.
Each sign of the zodiac has a different energy, and can be sorted into one of two camps: extroverted and introverted. Extroverted types need to be out and about, mixing it up with lots of people to feel fulfilled. Introverts need time alone, and don’t easily come out of their shells. They still need people, but are more likely to have a trusted few than a whole entourage.
Fire and Air Signs
Fire and Air signs tend to be extroverts. The Fire signs include Aries, Leo and Sagittarius.
Aries has a need for novelty, and ploughs ahead to act on their own desires, regardless of the feelings of anyone else. This pioneering sign hates to be controlled or held back, so will not respond well to ultimatums that they spend every night at home. Aries is ruled by planet Mars, the god of war … so you don’t want to get in this sign’s way!
Leo loves to be the life of the party and thrives on attention and adulation. However, they also require loyalty, and will not take kindly to your request to spend a quiet weekend tending to the garden. Whereas Aries will just do his or her own thing, Leo will insist on dragging you to the next party to be their arm candy. In other words, this Sun-ruled sign cannot be too independent, because Leo depends on others to reflect back their brilliance.
Sagittarius, on the other hand, is a wild horse that cannot be restrained. This sign, ruled by the largest planet in the solar system, needs to explore the world! Hungry for sport and adventure, Sag absolutely cannot be held down in one place for too long — unless they’re committed to completing a PhD in World Religions. Although they place importance on morality and ethics, these ideals are not going to keep them faithful if you insist on keeping them home under lock and key.
The Air Signs
The Air signs include Gemini, Libra and Aquarius.
Gemini needs lots of stimulation or they get easily bored. So unless you’re the most interesting and entertaining person on the planet, be prepared to give Gem lots of room to converse with a variety of people. This sign is ruled by Mercury, the messenger, and requires a constant flow of information (gossip!) to feel satisfied. So give your Gemini partner ample time to talk on the phone and tap away on IM, and they’ll be happy.
Libra is an exception to the freedom rule. Although an outgoing air sign, Libra is ruled by Venus, goddess of love. The Libran absolutely needs a one-on-one relationship to feel fulfilled, and especially the kind that feels like an equal, fair partnership. Libra will want to spend a lot of time with you, and if you insist on a boys or girls night out, then Libra will want to do the same, just to balance the scales.
Aquarius is the most independent sign of the zodiac. The sign of friends and groups is rather detached and impersonal, preferring the company of many over deep intimacy with one. You’re more likely to find Aquarius rallying for political change than for more heart-to-heart talks. This sign won’t mind if you spend much of your time somewhere else, and will insist on the same lee-way from you.
Earth and Water Signs
Earth and Water signs tend to be introverts. The Earth signs include Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn.
Taurus seeks stability and security, and often does so by acquiring money and beautiful objects … including you. Since you’re more possession than person, Taurus won’t be willing to let you leave their sight.
Virgo is a bit more flexible, but still needs you to be part of their daily routine. And besides, this sign loves to serve … and how can they feel useful if there’s no one to help? If you insist on going out, at least let Virgo inspect your outfit for stray threads and lintballs.
Capricorn will give you more freedom, if only because he or she is too busy putting in 10 hour days at work to spend time with you. But they expect you to have dinner on the table when they get home! In addition, their reputation matters a great deal, so Capricorn doesn’t want you out on the town, making a fool of yourself … because it reflects poorly on them.
The Water Signs
The Water signs include Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces.
Cancer is the sign of home and family. Don’t even bother spreading your wings, because this Moon-ruled sign wants to cuddle on the couch with you, watching Turner Classic Movies.
Scorpio wants to control you, and will hire a detective to track your every move … so watch your back! But really, this sign feels so intensely — and is so aware of the dark side of human nature — that it is difficult for them to trust. Once they do, they refuse to share you with anyone else.
Pisces may not even be aware that you’re gone, because they’re too wrapped up in their own fantasies, visualizations and drug-induced stupors. They live by the mantra, “Let go and let God,” so this sign is unlikely to be possessive. However, it’s possible Pisces will play the poor-me martyr if you spend too much time away, because they have problems with self-worth.
So there you have it. If you want freedom, choose an Air or Fire sign. If you’re a homebody, choose an Earth or Water sign. Astrology is much more complex than outlined above — you’ll want to know the sign of your partner’s Moon and Venus to get the real skinny on their relationship style. But if your Cancer pouts when you go on a weekend trip with the guys or girls, at least you’ll know why!