Emotionally Unavailable Men Many women wish that their men were more emotionally available, yet when a man cries or shows sensitivity, he... continue reading
Emotionally Unavailable Men
Many women wish that their men were more emotionally available, yet when a man cries or shows sensitivity, he is perceived as weak or un-masculine.
In the culture of the U.S., men have been raised to be John Wayne, not Johnny Depp. A guy’s effete mannerisms make one wonder about his sexual orientation; a tear shed makes him a sissy. Boys may be raised with classic lines like "Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about."
Despite more flexibility in our culture regarding gender, boys are still expected to be boys. Emotions are considered the territory of girls, and boys are only supposed to focus on playing in the dirt (or playing dirty) and developing their analytical skills. It’s more important for a guy to diagnose a problem with his carburetor than identify the source of his melancholy.
Despite the weight of upbringing and social mores, some boys still turn into "girly men," as the famous Hanz and Franz SNL sketch goes. And it has nothing to do with being gay or straight.
Why is that?
The Astrology of Feeling
In astrology, the twelve signs of the zodiac are broken up into four elements, or ways of processing experience. These elements are Earth, Fire, Air and Water. The Earth sign man is a solid, dependable type who only believes in what he can hold with his two hands. The Air sign man is logical and verbal, more into information and dialogue than inner experience. The Fire sign man is outgoing and inspirational, channeling his passion into creativity and sharing his message with the world. And then there’s the Water sign man.
The Water sign man is either a Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces. These are all deeply emotional signs. Sometimes a Water sign man will have a tough exterior, but he is simply protecting his vulnerable insides from the world. After all, both the crab (Cancer) and scorpion (Scorpio) have exoskeletons. Do you know any men who withdraw into their shells and then defend themselves by side-stepping (Cancer) or stinging you (Scorpio)? Or how about men who create confusion by stirring up the waters with their fins (Pisces)? All these sea animals have developed ways to survive, and it is no different for Water sign men.
Unfortunately, with all the pressure to be "real men," these Water sign guys often rely on their defenses to keep their strong feelings at bay. A Pisces may resort to alcohol, a Scorpio may play power games, a Cancer may become zealously attached to his country and his local football team.
However, if you gain a Water sign man’s trust and help him feel secure, he will open up a world of feeling to you… and your relationship will be much richer for it.
Featured Author, Jeffrey Kishner is a professional astrologer and Licensed Mental Health Counselor. He blogs about the astrology of relationships at Seduction Central, and created the Seduction Central Social Network and Forum, where members discuss astrological compatibility. Subscribe to his blog’s feed or get updates via email.