Have you ever been excited about a date only to end up spending the night alone and frustrated? Staying up half the night asking yourself ‘What went wrong?’
I know I have many times. After each date ended badly I walked away feeling powerless over my dating life. It felt like there was something that I wasn’t getting that most men did.
I believe if guys avoid these 13 deadly mistakes like it was the plague, their chances of getting a second date would dramatically improve. I choose the unlucky number thirteen because when it comes to dating making these mistakes will cause you to be very unlucky.
1. Not Breathing
First dates can be nerve wrecking. The pressure can be so high that you feel like you have swallowed a whole jar of butterflies. Sweaty palms and nervous ticks can be greatly reduced by sitting back and breathing.
If you ever find anxiety building up inside of yourself focus on taking long deep breaths. This will allow you to calm yourself down and get back to enjoying the date.
2. Being Too Far Away From Your Date
How can you go in for a kiss if she is five feet away? You can’t, so get a little closer to her. Guys tend to end up in the friend zone far too often because they aren’t getting close enough to the girl. Friends keep their distance while lovers come in a little too close for comfort.
Don’t start out the night two inches away from her face because it will creep her out. Work your way from a distance and get closer and closer as the night goes on.
3. Wanting Her to Like You
Nothing spells neediness like wanting her approval. It is the number one attraction killer. If you are desperate for her to like you don’t be surprised when she gets a call from a friend telling her that a family member has been in an emergence and she needs to go to the hospital right away.
Instead of trying to get her to like you ask yourself if you like her. When you qualify a woman, your insecurities and fears are greatly reduced. You are now in a position of choice instead getting her to approve of you.
4. Saying Sorry Too Many Times
Saying sorry too often is a very unhealthy habit. You say sorry and she thinks, “Oh God not another nice guy.” Accidents happen and are automatically forgiven, that’s why they are accidents. There is no need to say sorry every time you accidentally bump into her or make a minor mistake.
If you do something horrible like telling her that her ass is fat or spilling a drink in her new purse, then it requires a sincere apology. Anything beyond psychological or physical damage doesn’t warrant an apology.
5. Taking Her Out to Dinner….
Taking her out to dinner puts her three to four feet away from you and prevents you from getting close to her. Think of a dinner table as a barrier to you having an amazing first date. It’s a wooden cock block.
On top of that it puts you into a very awkward situation. You just met this woman and barely know her but you are forced to stare at her all night long. This will add to the pressure and stress of a first date.
Instead of following the cliché of taking her to a restaurant, take her to someplace more exciting. Bowling and shooting pool are some great ideas for a fun first date.
6. Speaking Too Fast
People who talk too fast make others around them feel anxious. Your date is nervous enough as it is and doesn’t want to feel any more anxious. If you continue to talk like an auctioneer she will get too uncomfortable and call it an early night.
Slow down and take your time when you speak. Practice this in your day to day life to avoid getting the axe from your date.
7. Going For the Kiss at the End of the Night
Classic mistake that guys never seem to get is trying to kiss a girl at the end of the night. When you pull this move you will be lumped into the same category as almost every other guy she has dated. Separate yourself from the pack and kiss her early on in the night.
The biggest problem with the goodnight kiss is the anxiety that comes from it. All throughout your date you will be focusing on that monumental moment instead of enjoying yourself. Every second that ticks by you will be plotting your strategy on how you will kiss her at the end of the night. This will cause the date to not go as smoothly as you planned making the good night kiss even harder to land.
8. Telling Her That You Like Her
She knows that you like her and you are only shooting yourself in the foot by announcing it. Your interest in her is made obvious by you being out on a date together. When you tell her how you feel it reminds her of all the nice guys that she rejected who did the same exact thing. If you tell her that you like her history will repeat itself and you will sleep alone tonight.
9. Complaining Too Much
Nothing spells attraction like a guy who brings a woman down. Life is tough and going on dates are supposed to be a relief from it. If you go on and on about how you hate your job she will begin to lose interest in you. The attraction she might have felt for you will disappear in a flash. Keep her having a good time or there will be no second date.
10. Going Too Deep with the Conversation on a First Date
Dates should be fun and enjoyable, not dark and depressing. If you poke too much into her past it might open up a whole flood gate of issues. The excitement and joy she once felt will be replaced by anger and depression from her childhood or ex-boyfriend. The date will turn sour very quickly and the only time she gets wet is when she cries on your shoulder.
11. Jumping to Conclusions
Most guys get so excited about actually going on a date with a real girl that they let their imaginations run wild. They start to imagine a house, a dog and a white picket fence even before securing a second date. Get a hold of your imagination and take it one date at a time. Nothing will make a girl run faster than a needy guy planning their honeymoon during the appetizers.
12. Getting Stuck in Your Head
Believe it or not your mind isn’t very useful in getting and keeping women attracted to you. Throughout the date it will fill you with anxiety and insecure thoughts regardless of how things are actually going. She might be into you but your mind will tell you otherwise.
Do yourself a favor and get out of your head and go with the flow of the date. The best way to do this is to ignore your thoughts and take a nice deep breath.
13. Asking Instead of Leading
Ask women what the most annoying thing a man could say to her and nine times out of ten it will be “Well, what do you want to do?” When a woman hears those magical seven words her first thought is, “I want to give you a fake number with seven digits and go home.”
Don’t ask or make a suggestion for what you want to do, just do it. Don’t check in with her to see if it is ok or not. If she has a problem with the direction you are taking the date, she will let you know.