Dating and chatting with girls may seem easy for some men, but a lot of guys end up getting it wrong. You can have a seemingly good conversation with a woman that you like, but from her perspective, you were boring and did nothing but go on about yourself. This is actually a very common mistake that guys make, but it doesn’t mean that you have to keep making it. Here’s how you can have real conversations with ladies and stimulate them intellectually – which we all know is the key to getting past a woman’s defenses and showing her that you’re someone she wants to spend time with!
Don’t Talk To Her The Same Way You Would A Co-Worker
Many men make the simple yet devastating mistake of chatting with girls they’re interested in dating like they chat with their co-workers. When there’s nothing really to discuss, they fill the empty space with run of the mill conversation. For example, you may chat with your co-workers about the problems you’re having at work, the weather, what you’re going to have for lunch or any number of random but boring subjects.
You may think that this conversation fare is good for anyone – including girls you’d like to be dating – but the truth is, it’s not. Having conversations like this is actually one of the fastest ways to show a girl that you don’t have any brains and definitely wont make a girl like you! It doesn’t even make for a real conversation – in fact, most people at work drone on about boring subjects because they don’t really have anything else to go on about and they’re simply trying to fill the awkward silence with some kind of conversation.
Instead, chat with ladies you’re interested in about things that interest them, and offer insights, observations and opinions that make it a real conversation.
Chat In A Way That Assumes Familiarity
While you don’t want to chat with a girl you’re interested in like you would a co-worker, you also don’t want to chat with her like she’s a stranger either. The more you ask the same questions a stranger would ask her, the more you’re going to seem like an actual stranger to her. You definitely don’t want her to feel like she’s being interviewed for a job or playing a very boring round of twenty questions. Questions like this might be:
- “What do you do for a living?”
- “What do you do for fun?”
- “Where do you live?”
- “Where do you go to school at?”
Instead, make a point to ask any woman you’d like to be dating meaningful questions that actually make her think! You already know that the quickest way to make a woman fall in love with you is by stimulating her mind, so you want to make her feel like you’re interested in her personally and value her opinions and thoughts on different subjects. Questions like this might be:
- “What would you do if….?”
- “What is your opinion about….?”
- “How does …. make you feel?”
- “What is your favorite….?”
These types of questions actually get her thinking and stimulate her intellectually. They also show that you’re interested in her and the things that are important to her. These types of questions show her that you actually want to get to know who she is and what she’s all about rather than where she works or what kind of pets she has.
Don’t Filter Yourself
When dating, many guys make the mistake of trying too hard to give off the “right” impression or the impression that he thinks a woman wants. What happens is that they are so caught up in putting on the right kind of “show” that they actually forget to be themselves! Guys are so scared of saying the wrong thing and getting rejected that they end up holding back and don’t actually show a woman who they are and how much fun they can be.
Learning to be yourself and letting go of what you think you should be doing or saying when talking to women is a way to show strength and confidence, which is actually a huge turn on for a lot of gals. Chat with a woman as though she is a long time friend of yours and you’re not afraid of being judged by her. She’ll be so appreciative that you’re actually being yourself, unlike the hordes of other guys that put on the “show” for her. When you learn to have real conversations with girls, you’ll find that instead of looking for girls, the girls are looking for you!