Dating is enough to make anyone apprehensive. Most people worry about saying the right thing, wearing the right clothes and not making any mistakes – but the truth is, you don’t have to be worried about it at all! Here’s how to get rid of dating apprehension for good.
Most Guys Suffer From Dating Anxiety
If you get apprehensive when you start talking to a girl, you’re not alone. The far majority of guys get a little freaked out when they approach women and they often stutter, fidget or choke on their words. They seem really awkward – even when they’re smooth when they’re around their friends. Even though most guys have trouble with getting flustered and flubbing up when they approach women, you don’t have to!
Understanding Basic Social Anxiety
A lot of people who have apprehension when “dating” may actually just be apprehensive socially. If you find yourself getting flustered most of the time when you’re in a new situation with new people, it may not necessarily be that you are apprehensive about women at all – you may actually have social anxiety. Signs of apprehension in all social situations might be:
- Freezing up in social situations that do or do not include women
- Difficulty talking to new people in general
- Being limited in your ability to express yourself
Being apprehensive in new social situations isn’t uncommon, but it can definitely wreak havoc not only on your love life, but your life in general. Things that should be simple, such as striking up a conversation with a girl or asking a girl out can seem impossible. Other ways it can affect your life might be:
- Problems talking with new people in general, regardless of their gender
- Trouble making friends with new people
- Can lead to sadness, depression and reduced satisfaction with life in general
The first thing you need to do when you struggle with getting flustered in new social situations is to make an effort to consciously relax. Any time you start to feel apprehensive, take a few minutes to calm down and breathe in and out slowly. Remember that it’s going to be okay!
You can also practice yoga or meditation in your spare time to learn great relaxation techniques that you can use any time. Yoga and meditation help you learn how to calm down overall, but they also teach techniques that you can use in the heat of the moment to collect yourself and decrease your stress right away.
Practice Makes Perfect
A lot of guys struggle with approaching new people and starting a conversation, simply because they’ve not done it a lot and don’t have any confidence in themselves to do it. It’s normal to be apprehensive about doing something that you’ve never done before or don’t do often – so get out there and practice talking to people! The more you talk to people – both men and women – the less apprehensive you will be about striking up a conversation out of the blue with a new person.
If you focus on meeting new people and putting yourself in new social situations, you’re going to be uncomfortable at first, but you’re going to get used to it and soon it will be like second nature to you. There’s a reason all those “suave” guys are so suave – they go up to women and talk to them all the time!
Getting Help For Serious Anxiety
While most people are at least a little apprehensive in new situations, there are some people who struggle with anxiety all the time. The symptoms of clinical anxiety are similar to general apprehension in new social situations, but can be more persistent or severe. If you struggle with nervousness often, you may want to seek the advice of your doctor or another medical professional. They can help you:
- Find a counselor or someone to talk to about your feelings
- Recommend medication for some people
- Suggest other treatments that may help you lead a more normal, happy life
It’s All About Having Fun
Remember that dating is all about putting yourself out there and having fun. Yes, you risk getting rejected and the more women you approach, the more you might get rejected. However, think of it this way – learn to appreciate any successes you have, no matter how small they are. If you ask out twenty girls and only one of them says yes, don’t think of it as getting nineteen refusals. You have a date soon! Forget all the “no’s” and go get ready for a really great first date.