A rebound relationship is common, and it can sometimes be a fun way to get over someone you’ve broken up with. The thing about these types of relationships though is that they rarely last, simply because the person just getting out of a previous relationship is “rebounding” and not ready for commitment again. However, there are a rebound relationship or two that actually last, so if you’re really into someone who just came from a break up, you may not want to give up hope yet. Here’s how to tell if they’re still hung up on their ex – and if their relationship with you will work out for the better.
Question: Hey, I recently met this girl and we were getting pretty close but then she started talking about her ex-boyfriend who she broke up with because he moved away. She said she’s still in love with him and now I realized that I might just be filling the “gap” that he left behind. Is this kind of rebound relationship going to end badly if I pursue it?
Why Some Rebound Relationships Don’t Work
Some people go into a rebound relationship with the attitude of simply engaging in casual dating or sex. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, especially if both parties understand that it is more of a casual hookup. However, if one person is going into it thinking that it is going to be the start of something really special, they can get let down pretty hard when they find out the person they are really into isn’t really into them. There are some ways to tell if the rebound relationship will work out or not before you become completely invested in it, so take some time to think the situation through before you really commit to it. If they’re the ones that have done the breaking up with their past partner, they may be ready to move on and start a new commitment with you. However, if they’re the ones that were broken up with, they may still be hung up on the “one that got away.”
Is She Trying To Keep In Contact With Him?
If she says she’s still in love with her ex-boyfriend, she may still be keeping in contact with him through phone, email or chat. This can be a huge indicator of whether or not your relationship with her will work out or not, because if she’s still communicating with him, she’s still hung up on him – and keeping in touch with him will not allow her to fully move on from him and committing herself to what she has with you. Talk to her and let her know that you enjoy spending time with her and want to pursue what you have with her, but you can’t do that while she is still talking to her ex. Let her know that continuing to talk to him is just going to hurt her, because she won’t be able to move on from him and it will keep her from finding happiness elsewhere. Let her know that it makes you uncomfortable and that you’d like her to stop talking to him so you and her can focus on your relationship together. Be wary though – she may insist that it is harmless and she’s going to do it anyway. She may even do it behind your back. Decide beforehand whether this is a deal breaker or not. If she refuses to stop talking to her ex, are you willing to walk away?
Time Will Make A Difference
If you haven’t been in the rebound relationship with her for very long, all she may need is time. It takes time to get over an ex, especially if he’s the one that initiated the break up. If the break up is fresh and you’re really into this girl, take a step back and allow her some time to collect herself and get over him. She may be worth the wait, and the wait probably won’t be very long if she’s already agreed that continuing to keep in touch with him is simply keeping her from moving on. However, if you and her have been dating for awhile now, and she’s still not able to move on from what she had with him, it may be a sign that she’s not going to get over him for a long time. If this is the case, you may want to consider moving on yourself and looking for someone who respects you enough to be with you and you only mentally and emotionally.