Dating is intimidating if you’re nervous about making the initial introduction. Here’s how to get over it and go up to girls with... continue reading
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Dating is intimidating if you’re nervous about making the initial introduction. Here’s how to get over it and go up to girls with CONFIDENCE!
Getting Over The Nervousness
Nervousness over the introduction is one of the biggest deterrents when it comes to dating. Many men feel that walking up to a girl and talking to her can be a detrimental action. “What if she doesn’t talk back to me?” “What if she thinks I’m an idiot?” These are things that run through our heads when we even think about walking up to a pretty girl in a grocery store, bar or night club. Getting over approach anxiety can be a serious confidence booster for a man. Achieving confidence of the introduction can even extend into the business world as well as making new friends. But how do you get over it? To say the least, this is easier said than done.
Have A Routine
Routines are one of the best ways to get over dating approach anxiety. Routines take the pressure out of introducing yourself to a woman. The best way to construct your routines is to make a few different ones for typical dating scenarios. For instance, come up with a routine for the grocery store, the bar, nightclubs, parties or other social occasions. Practice your routines in a mirror and think about the different answers that the girl would give to each routine. Make sure that you have a few things to say back for each answer that they could give. Being prepared for your introduction is a basic essential for getting over your fear.
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Starting small will build you up so you can eventually sustain an introduction. This can be implemented pretty easily. The next time that you go to the bank or to a restaurant, talk to the teller or the hostess. You don’t have to get into their life story, just ask them a few questions that you might not have otherwise. For instance, when you go into the bank, ask the teller how their day has been. Ask them if they have been busy. They will of course answer you back because they want to seem friendly, but it’s good nonetheless. When you walk into a restaurant, ask the hostess when the busiest time is for the restaurant or something similar. This small talk is a stepping-stone to an introduction and then, possibly dating.
A great way to do you first approach is to go somewhere that you never go. For instance, instead of going up to girls at your favorite bar, go to a bar that is on the other side of town. Many men think that if they fail on the introduction, they will not be able to go back to the venue at which it occurred due to embarrassment. This will not occur if you go somewhere that you might not ever go back to. Going up to women at a place that you frequent is not recommended, as you might be uncomfortable seeing them again, especially if you’re dating someone else at the time.
The Actual Introduction
The first meeting can be nerve racking if you aren’t prepared. Remember your routines and how you made the small talk before. You want to use the same tonality during your introduction as you did at the bank or restaurant. Be friendly, but not overbearing. Always go up to the girl with a smile. Do not offer your hand, as this is not a sign of romanticism, but of a friend. Deliver the first line of your routine with confidence. It helps to envision yourself as a character in a movie. This puts you into a mind frame of control when playing the dating game. Movies are always controlled storytelling and there will be a part of you that fully believes the girl cannot resist.
Listen to what they say during the conversation. Don’t be scared if the girl does not respond to your routine the way that you may have thought. This is fine. Just be yourself and if you start to get nervous, excuse yourself from the conversation. One of the best non-threatening ways to get out of a conversation that is going south is to say something like “Well, I’ll let you get back to your shopping.” This shows that you are willing to let her go and shows confidence.
Getting Her Number
If the conversation is going well feel free to ask for her phone number. This might happen or it might not. If you are really nervous, act like there is somewhere that you have to be. This kind of gives her an ultimatum. Simply say “I didn’t realize it’s so late, but can I get your number? I’d love to talk with you again.” If she refuses, it’s not the end of the world. You’re somewhere that you will never go again and nobody has seen you. If she does give you her number, you’re off to a great start.
Dating nervousness can be a killer of men. When we are afraid of going up to women, we miss out on potential opportunities to date somebody really special. Following these guidelines can give you a low pressure way of introducing yourself to women with little hassle.